Light in the Black - Chapter 7 - Water

An entire week goes by and…nothing happens. Absolutely nothing except for insane amounts of fucking. Everywhere in the entire cabin. Brian even went on a walk with me a few days ago…it turned out he only went with me because he had been planning to fuck me in the lake that was about a ten minute walk from the cabin. Fucker. I had thought he went with me just…to be with me. That’s Brian for you. I feel his hot breath on my face and I slowly open my eyes. What the hell is he doing? It’s not even light outside yet. Groaning, I turn away from him and make him face my back. Take that.

He grabs my shoulder and rolls me back over.

“Sunshine, get your ass up.”

“What the fuck are you doing? What time is it?”

“Two.”

What the hell is he waking me up at two in the morning for? I shake my head and rub my eyes. “I’m not letting you fuck me. If you’re that horny you can go jerk off.” He laughs and I wonder how he sounds so…awake right now. “You and I both know I can get you to change your mind about that in a matter of seconds.” He’s right. All he has to do is look at me a certain way and I’m ready for him to shove his dick up my ass. Yawning, I look over at him tiredly. Can’t he see how fucking tired I am? It’s his fault too…for fucking me so long. “Why are you waking me up?”

“We’re going on a walk.”

“A walk? Are you on fucking drugs?”

I’m really starting to suspect he’s on something.

“No, I’m not on anything. I want to go on a walk. To the lake.”

“Why? So you can fuck me there?”

“That is a good thought but no. I just simple want to go on a walk. With you.”

Is he serious? Is he actually being sincere? I raise an eyebrow up at him and study his face. He looks as serious as he ever looks but I can never really tell with him. Not all the time. “What?” He rolls his eyes and grabs me by the arm and begins pulling me out of the bed. “What do you not understand, Sunshine? I said I want to go on a walk with you. Hey, there’s a full moon.” I rub my eyes with my free hand as he helps me stand up off the bed. He’s freaking me out. “Since when are you interested in that?” Brian grins and begins helping me put on a shirt. I don’t mention that it’s one of his shirts. Then he helps me pull on some sweat pants. “Since it makes me horny as hell.”

“I knew this was all about sex.”

“It is not. I was kidding.”

“Fuck you were. I know fucking is going to come into this somehow.”

“Hey, it’s not my fault that I can’t keep my dick out of you.”

I smile as he helps me down the stairs and then out the front door. It’s a cool night and I wrap my arms around Brian’s waist and he wraps both of his arms around me. I warm immediately. He always has that affect on me. He leads us towards the path that leads us to the lake. We walk in silence for the entire ten minutes and he’ll kiss me on the forehead every now and then or on the mouth. Slow, tender kisses that don’t mean he wants to fuck me. He just…wants to kiss me. Yeah, he’s really freaking me out tonight. I don’t exactly mind him acting like this though either. When we reach the lake I continue my hold on him, my head resting against his chest. I could fall asleep standing like this if I tried but I’m too busy staring at the lake and how beautiful it looks with the full moon reflecting off of it.

Making it shine.

“Brian?”

“What?”

“Are you alright?”

He looks down at me, eyebrow raised.

“Ye-esss.”

“Are you sure?”

“Justin, I’m fine. Is there something wrong with me wanting to come out here with you?”

“Yeah, when it’s two in the morning.”

He grins down at me and cups my face in his hands and kisses me long, slow and tenderly. This walk isn’t turning out so bad after all. I’m not even feeling tired anymore. “Do you wanna know the real reason I brought you out here?” I look up at him in anticipation, his hands still cupping my face, and I slide my fingers through the belt loops of his jeans. I nod, curiosity very present on my face. He grins and gives me another one of those slow, fucking awesome kisses and then pulls away.

“I brought you out here ‘cause…I like the way…you look when the moonlight shines on you. You look fucking…unreal.”

This is fucking unreal.

I blush and he brings his lips down to kiss me again, this one more fierce than the last few. He pulls away leaving my lips swollen and my lungs empty. “Let me make love to you. Right here.” Make love? How can I say no to a request like that? I nod, not trusting myself to speak. I wish there was a full moon every night if it makes him act like this. He lifts my shirt off of my shoulders then my sneakers and then my pants. He lets me help him get undressed and we let our clothes fall carelessly to the ground. Brian doesn’t even complain about his clothes getting dirty. I wonder if I’m dreaming all of this.

He brings our bodies together and we somehow end up in the lake a few minutes later. The water is surprisingly warm but a comfortable warm. “Wrap your legs around me.” I do as I’m told and I wrap my legs around his waist, my arms around his neck, and press our lips together. I’m still confused. Confused as to why Brian’s acting like this but I’m not going to complain. If he wants to act like this…than that’s perfectly fine with me. His hands grip tightly but gently to my hips and in a matter of seconds he’s inside me and he’s somehow moving in and out of me. In the fucking water. His actions are just too hard for me to grasp.
 

I totally understand why Justin would think I’m on something or if he’d think I’m sick. I’ve never acted like this before. I don’t even like to use the words ‘make love’ because I hate those words. And I definitely don’t like to act all…romantic and tell people things like I told him. But it’s the truth. He does look fucking unreal. Just like he does now with his head tilted back exposing his fucking eatable throat. With his lips parted in quiet moans of ecstasy. God, I need to make love to him in lakes more often. So, anyway, I can see why he’d think there’s something wrong with me and…there is something wrong with me.

I’m in fucking LOVE with him.

I’m fucking terrified for him.

I’m fucking…fucked with worry for him.

All this stalker business is finally taking it’s toll on me. Sure, I’m fucking ecstatic that nothing has happened for an entire week but…this isn’t right. Ethan is off his fucking rocker and I know he has to know where we are…so I just don’t know one thing. Why the hell hasn’t anything happened? I’ve been waiting, every fucking morning, afternoon, and night for something bad to happen. I can’t even sleep because I’d rather watch Justin sleep and know that he’s ok because I. Fucking. LOVE. Him.

That’s why I woke him up at two this morning.

I wasn’t even asleep.

Neither of us last long. Soon he’s spent and I don’t last much longer after he does. He hangs limp around me, legs still wrapped securely around my waist. I pull out of him even though I don’t want to and cradle his face in my hands so I can look him straight in the eyes. He grins tiredly at me, moonlight making him look…as I said…fucking unreal. Beautiful. He’s the most perfect man I know and I don’t know how the fucking hell I lasted without him before. He smiles shyly at me and I realize I’ve been staring at him for some time now, just cupping his face and…staring at his perfection.

“What’s wrong, Bri?”

I smile softly at him and shake my head.

“Nothing, nothing at all. Everything’s perfect.”

I pull his face towards mine for another long breathtaking kiss and I do something that I told myself that I would NEVER do. Something that’s completely foreign to me. Something that…I need to do. Want to do.

“Justin,”

He watches me expectantly. Beautifully expectantly.

“I…I love you.”
 

Chapter 8 - Gun Shot
 

He loves me.

I always knew he loved me. I could always tell he did but he had never said it. I love full moons. After he told me that he loved me he had kissed me long and deep. Forever it seemed like. I wish he could’ve kissed me forever. That would’ve been heaven. His confession made me giddy for the next three days. He didn’t say it again. And I don’t care either. He said it once and he meant it. That’s all I need. Sure, I wouldn’t have minded if he said it everyday like the normal couple but I’m happy with what I get. From what I know about Brian Kinney – him saying that is a big thing for him. I look over at him. He’s sitting next to me on the couch flipping through a magazine.

“Brian – I wanna go back home.”

Nothings happened for a week and three days. That’s a long time. Don’t get me wrong, I love spending all this alone time with him but…I do miss civilization. I miss my friends. I miss everyone and being isolated like this is starting to get old. “I know you do, Sunshine. I do too.” I sigh and snuggle up against him. I know it annoys the hell out of him when I do this and he’s trying to read or something. I do it anyway. Like he can ever push me away. Surprisingly, he doesn’t even try to make me go away. His arm comes up and wraps around me and pulls me closer. He has been acting more clingy than usual lately.

“Then I don’t see why,”

He cuts me off.

“Yes, you do. If we go back you’ll be in danger again. We’re obviously pretty safe here and I’d really like to keep it that way,”

He looks over at me for the first time since this discussion has started and smiles softly at me.

“I don’t want anything to happen to you. We’re staying here. Plus, I like having you all to myself.”

I smile and kiss him lightly on the mouth before pulling away.

“I bet you do.”

I head over to the stairs and stop once I reach them. “I’m going upstairs to sleep. You haven’t been giving me any rest lately,” He smirks at this. Fucking idiot. “And I’m going to need energy if you plan on keeping me up all night for the rest of our stay here.” He throws his magazine down on the empty space next to him and jumps up off the couch. When he reaches me his arms wrap around me from behind and his chin rests on my shoulder. I sigh and lean back against him. “You’re not gonna let me rest are you?” His teeth attach to the lobe of my ear for a second before answering.

“Of course I will, dear. Someday.”

“I have a feeling that ‘someday’ means never.”

“Some people would be ecstatic to be fucked by me for eternity.”

“Believe me – I’m more then ecstatic. I’m tired too.” He grins and kisses me once more on the cheek. His arms leave me and I’m about to ask him to come upstairs with me. Not that I need to ask him. He will anyway. There’s no way in hell he’ll let me out of his sight. But he beats me to it. “I’ll be right up. I’m gonna get a CD out of the jeep.” I nod and start up the stairs as he walks the opposite direction to the front door. I can’t help but decorate my face with a happy/giddy/silly smile on my way up. I don’t think anyone can be more in love than I am right now. It’s not even possible.

A loud gunshot brings me out of my giddy daze.

And into a horror daze.

My first thought is, ‘what the hell was that?’ and then, when it all registered in my head, ‘ohmygod, ohmygod, is Brian ok?’ I’m down the stairs in about five seconds. The thought that it probably isn’t safe for me to go outside doesn’t even register. All that’s running through my mind is that I need to get to Brian because if he’s hurt then, god, I don’t even want to think about that. I swing open the door and the first thing I see is Brian lying on the ground, which doesn’t help anything that I’m feeling right now. I don’t see anyone else but that doesn’t mean that that ‘someone else’ isn’t still here. Watching from his or her hiding place and laughing their asses off. Without a second thought about someone else being out here, I jump off the porch and hurry towards the jeep. I sigh in relief when I see that he wasn’t shot in the head or the heart.

He was shot in the stomach, though, and that can be bad.  Oh fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck.

“Brian? Brian, please be ok.”

He’ll be ok. He has to be. If he isn’t ok then I have no idea what I’ll do. He doesn’t respond and I’m not sure how bad the wound is. All I see is lots of blood oozing out of him. My heart beats faster and I think I start to cry but I’m not sure. I hurriedly reach into his pocket and pull out his cell phone and dial 911. They say they’ll be there in a matter of minutes but who knows if they will. Then I call Debbie. “Hello?” I realize I’m crying when I realize I can’t really see straight. I bite at my bottom lip. “De-Debbie. Som-something happened…” I quickly use my free hand to press it tightly against where he got shot. I’m not trained in this kind of thing but I’m not stupid either. I’m not going to let him bleed more then he has to. “Sunshine, what’s wrong?” I look down at Brian and I start to cry harder and I can hear Debbie telling me to calm down over and over again.

“Someone shot him!”

Silence on her end of the phone.

“T-the police are com-coming…but he’s not awake and there’s bl-blood everywhere…”

Me saying that doesn’t help anything. Debbie’s crying too, I think. No, I know she is. “I’ll call the others…call me when the police and the ambulance get there.” We hang up and I’m more than extremely upset now. I’m scared – not only about Brian but also about the fact that the person who did this to him is probably still really close by. He’s probably watching as I sit here on my knees crying over my boyfriend and could, if he wanted to, come over here and kidnap me or something extreme like that. I tell myself not to think like that. That’s not helping anything.

I feel slightly safer when I hear the sirens come closer and closer.
 

They stopped the bleeding.

No internal organs were damaged.

They tell me he’s going to be fine.

He didn’t even lose that much blood – it had just looked that way. They told me it was a smart thing, me holding my hand against it like I did. I ignore them though. Brian won’t be ok until I see him. He won’t be ok until he’s awake and being an asshole and actually looking me in the eye. He won’t be ok until I say he’s ok. “Can I see him?” The doctor says not yet. That they’re still stitching up the wound. But it shouldn’t take long. In a few minutes. The minutes seem to tick by like hours. Like forever. Oh, god, this is my fault. I’ve already been responsible for three deaths…even if Brian says I wasn’t. Mel, Linds, and JR. I don’t want to be responsible for Brian’s either. Especially not Brian’s. My cell phone rings.

“Hello?”

“It’s Debbie, Sunshine.”

“Hi, Deb…”

“How is he?”

“They say he’ll be fine. I can’t see him yet though.”

I don’t know how I’m talking right now. I think I cried out all my tears. Now I’m just…crying in my head.

“He’s gonna be transferred back to Pittsburgh as soon as he can be moved.”

“Yeah, that’s what the doctor told me…”

“He’ll be ok, Sunshine. He’s strong.”

“I-I know.”

I see the doctor walking back towards me.

“I have to go. The doctor’s coming back.”