TITLE: Missed Opportunities 1/4
PAIRING: Gale/Randy
FANDOM: QAF RPS- if it squicks you, feel free to move along.
RATING: ADULTS ONLY
FEEDBACK: Please!
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Gale or Randy. I think we all know that. This is for entertainment purposes only. I do not claim to know whether any facts mentioned in this story are actually true. As far as I know, Simon and Randy are a happy, healthy, loving couple. Any references to anything different are purely fictional.
SUMMARY: When the cast comes together for the Season 5 DVD release promotion, Gale and Randy set a few things straight.
BETA'D by: blinding_sight (Thank you!)
 

Missed Opportunities 1/4

January 10, 2006- Season Five DVD release party

Everyone looked on as the hordes of fans began filling the large hall. The echoes of noise were already at extreme levels and the mall had only opened to the public a few minutes earlier. It always surprised them how many people actually showed up for these events. The table was full… almost, the cast already seated by assigned nametags holding their places. They chatted and joked around, anxiously waiting for the meet and greet to begin so they could finally wrap things up and spend the evening mingling with each other. The fans were wonderful, but it’d been months since they’d been together… not since the premier party before the final season had even aired.

Gale hadn’t attended that one, claiming a previous engagement had kept him away, but in reality, it was just the inevitable feeling of knowing it was the end that he didn’t want to face. He knew he wasn’t ready for it.

So now, a year later and everyone was together again… probably for the last time. Gale sat second to last in the line-up, Bobby to his left and an empty chair that shouldn’t have been empty to his right. His eyes kept making their way back to the tag on the table. Randy Harrison in bold black letters and in small parentheses below it, his character name… Justin Taylor.

Gale had been surprised when he heard Randy was going to be making an appearance, but by the look of it, he would have been more surprised if the other man had actually shown up. He found himself becoming more and more agitated by the thought that maybe Randy was so bitter toward this particular stepping stone in his career that maybe, just maybe he’d skipped out on them. Purposely stood them up as a ‘fuck you’ to all things Queer as Folk. He tried to push the negative thoughts out of his head. He didn’t want to think that Randy would stoop so low as to actually do something like that. Instead, he kept the smile plastered on, lightheartedly engaging in small talk around the table, even though he was becoming more disappointed with every minute that passed. Twenty so far and he was still counting.

Sharon caught his attention and he leaned in, trying to hear what she was saying from four seats down when the crowd began to cheer, the entire mall erupting into howls and whistles all around them. Gale turned his head and his eyes immediately locked onto Randy, being ushered through a double door behind them with two security personnel on each side. Clutching a shoulder bag in one hand and a Pepsi in the other, he pulled the chair back and sat down next to Gale, setting both items down beside him on the table.

Gale couldn’t help the smile that curled on his lips when Randy finally looked over at him. “You couldn’t come in subtly like the rest of us?”

Randy glanced down, biting his lip and shrugged. “Running late.”

Gale chuckled at that because he could tell that Randy was trying not to show how nervous he was. One thing he’d learned in the past few years was that Randy hated doing these things. He hated the large crowds… hated putting on that show biz smile for a huge mass of strangers. Not that he didn’t appreciate the fans that came out to show their support, but Randy had always been extremely shy. When the focus was on him, he would quickly try to direct it elsewhere, usually to one of the other cast members, or whoever happened to be around. Interviewers, reporters, fans… they all intimidated him. For someone so self conscious, Gale was amazed that Randy had chosen to lead a life in the limelight. Gale smiled and diverted his attention back to the line of people that had just been let through the barricade. They’d have plenty of time to talk later. Now it was time to go to work. It was time to turn on the Brian Kinney charm.

For the next two hours, they talked, signed and gave a little of themselves to countless faces that passed by them. Gale and Randy shared in the adoration, posing together for digital and disposable cameras, side by side, their cheeks pressed flushed against one another. Gale and Randy… Brian and Justin. That’s how they would always be remembered.

**~**

Once they finished the first half of their obligation to the fans, they finally managed to take a break, escaping into the small hallway closed off for them. Gale pulled out a long needed cigarette and pushed his way outside the building. Nicotine addiction was a bitch when you couldn’t feed the craving. But then, it was only one of many vices he allowed himself. The others would have to wait until later. Leaning casually against the wall, enjoying the quiet of being alone, he inhaled deeply and let the taste settle on his lips until he heard the sound of the large, steel door opening behind him.

“Figured I’d find you out here.”

Just the simple sound of the voice made him smile.

Randy moved in closer, taking a spot right beside Gale against the bricks and reached out to steal the cigarette from his fingers. He brought it to his lips and Gale laughed. “One of these days I’m gonna make you buy your own.”

Randy exhaled, handing it back, returning Gale’s smile. “They’d go to waste.”

And it was true. Randy only seemed to smoke when they were around each other and only when he could steal what Gale already had lit. Whether it was a simple cigarette or something from Gale’s more potent stash they were sharing, it was an endearing quality of Randy’s that Gale would never have given up for anything.

He took a final drag and held the butt out, offering the last of it as he spoke. “I was really surprised when I saw you on the list. I figured you’d be anywhere else but here.”

Randy nodded and shrugged. “I almost said no. Actually, I did at first.” He inhaled and then lifted his head, exhaling the smoke high into the air above him. “But then I realized this’ll probably be the last time, you know? All of us together like this?”

“Like you really care.” Gale didn’t mean for it to sound so harsh, but he couldn’t help letting the truth slip out. “I mean, you were so ready to move on and never look back.”

Randy took a final drag and dropped the finished butt, stomping it out on the pavement, pulling his eyes away from Gale’s. “You know my reasons.”

Everyone knew his reasons. The ongoing tension between Randy and the higher ups was a subject that everyone tried hard not to get involved in. That is, everyone except Gale. More often than not, he would stand by Randy, voicing his opinions, causing his own waves of friction. By the end, they made quite a controversial pair.

Gale slowly ran his hand through his hair, down to his chin, scratching the scruff of beard before pushing away from the wall, positioning his body in front of Randy’s. “When you said you wanted it to be over, I didn’t think it meant our friendship too.”

Randy’s body visibly tensed. “What?”

“It’s been ten fucking months. Would one phone call have killed you? Hey Gale, how’s it going? I caught your movie… you were fanfuckingtastic!” He was trying for angry, but the tone came out much more hurt than he intended.

“That goes both ways, asshole. It’s not like you were beating down my door, either. You couldn’t even come to see me in one fucking play? Not one! You didn’t even…”

“I did,” Gale interrupted, speaking so low he was barely heard.

Randy stopped, not even trying to hide his surprised expression.

“I was in New York for the weekend and saw you. The final night of Equus. You were… fucking amazing.”

Randy’s mood changed immediately. He became almost excited, full of questions, bubbling over the way he always did when he was extremely happy about something. “What? Why didn’t you let me know you were there? We could have gone somewhere, done something. Celebrated!”

Gale shrugged and slid his hands into his coat pockets, the January weather finally starting to chill his body. “I was going to. I planned on surprising you after the show but then I noticed you with Simon so…” He tapered off, pulling his collar up around his neck.

Randy’s cheek-to-cheek grin quickly became a frown when he realized what Gale was saying. He’d been there but wouldn’t approach him, went away without so much as a word. “Because of Simon? What the fuck? Why?”

Gale pulled in his bottom lip, holding it between his teeth and shook his head. “You know how he feels about me…” Randy opened his mouth but Gale wouldn’t let him argue, “and don’t try to deny it. He would have been pissed if he’d known I was there that night.”

“Gale…”

“No. You know it and I know it. Things changed when he came along. Things were different with us and it’s because he hated it when I was around you.”

“He’s like that with everybody, you know that.”

But Gale knew different. It wasn’t a matter of Simon wanting to keep Randy all for himself. It wasn’t even the thought of his boyfriend having other people he could talk to and confide in. Gale knew the real reason Simon didn’t like having him around.

“So that’s why you never called me? Kept in touch? Well fuck what Simon might have thought! He doesn’t own me and he doesn’t choose my friends.” Even as he said it, he knew exactly how wrong he was. There’d always been a huge amount of animosity between Gale and Simon, right from the beginning. He’d never been able to enjoy having his best friend and his boyfriend around at the same time, both making excuses not to be anywhere near where the other might be. Once he finally realized they would never become friends, he accepted it and dealt with it as best he could, the only way he knew how. He began to pull away from Gale and everything having to do with the show. After all, Simon was his life… ‘Queer as Folk’ was just a job. One that Simon was not so happy with.

Besides, by that time, tension began to increase between himself and Gale, replacing the comfort they’d always shared with each other. Or maybe it was just that he was uncomfortable with the thought that he shouldn’t have been so relaxed in such intimate settings with another man, while his partner was forced to watch from the sidelines, pretending… or at least trying to pretend that it didn’t matter. In truth, he’d be lying if he said Simon didn’t have a reason to be jealous. Not that he would ever do anything to jeopardize what they had, but just the thought that he could was enough to make him nervous; hence the tension and uncomfortable feelings. So yes, Simon had made a difference whether Randy at the time was willing to admit it or not. Unfortunately, once he did admit it to himself, there were noticeable differences in his relationship with Gale, both on screen and off.

Gale swallowed and shrugged, pulling out another cigarette to give his hands something to do. He could think of a million things he’d rather be doing than having a conversation about Simon’s possessiveness. In fact, anything having to do with Simon was his least favorite topic. Still, he knew Randy was happy so he dealt with it. “I just didn’t want to fuck things up for you.”

“You wouldn’t have. I manage to do that just fine on my own, thank you.” It was Randy’s attempt to lighten things a bit and it worked. He noticed the hint of a smile curling on Gale’s lips. “Oh well, I guess it was better that you didn’t come see me. I was really pissed off at you around that time anyway.” He mentioned it so casual, like Gale shouldn’t have been surprised… or confused.

Not knowing whether he was actually serious or not, Gale decided to stumble into it headfirst. Little did he know what can of worms he was opening up. “What the hell did I do? I hadn’t seen you in what, two months?”

Randy didn’t hesitate and answered, “Nothing. Nevermind.” He pushed himself away from the wall and began to turn around, stepping around Gale at the same time. “We’d better get back inside before they send out a search party.”

Gale grabbed his arm, not letting him walk away without at least a hint of what he was talking about. “Fuck ‘em. Tell me.”

“It’s not important now so just leave it alone, okay?”

“No. Tell me what the fuck you were talking about.”

Randy sighed and pulled his arm out of Gale’s grasp.

With a sudden sort of accusing anger, he asked, “Why couldn’t you trust me?”

Gale stepped back and gave him another ‘what the fuck’ look.

Randy crossed his arms in front of him and shifted his weight from one foot to the other. “You were outed in the fucking tabloids, Gale. I had to read it in some fucking trash magazine.”

Of all the things Randy could have said, this was definitely not what Gale had expected. There was an awkward silence between them for just a moment, for just a few seconds when they couldn’t seem to even look at each other, until Randy finally added, “ It’s not like I didn’t already know. I did. I’d known for a long time.”

It was then that their eyes finally met, Gale’s full of questions and Randy’s full of hurt. “You don’t spend that much time and work that close with someone and not know. I was just waiting… waiting for you to finally tell me, or something. But you never did and it made me feel like I wasn’t important enough, like I didn’t…” he closed his eyes and took a deep breath, “Fuck.”

“Like you didn’t mean anything to me?”

And there it was, on the table. The simple nod and look in Randy’s eyes said it all.

Gale hated it. “I wanted to. So many people were telling me it would ruin me, that I’d come across as a better actor if they all thought I was this straight man playing a gay part. ‘Oh, look at him… that Gale Harold is one hell of an actor… if he can pretend for a role like that, there’s nothing he couldn’t do!’” He glanced down and then forced himself to face Randy’s gaze. “Believe me, there were so many times I wanted to tell you the truth and so many times I came so close to actually doing it. But then things… happened and I figured it just really didn’t matter anyway.”

And right then, Randy knew. ‘Things’ meant Simon. Simon happened and Gale stepped back, giving them space while shoving himself even deeper in the closet. When Randy began dating Simon, Gale began dating Kim. At the time, it left Randy confused because he was sure he’d been right in his assumption about Gale’s sexuality. Listening to the explanation years too late, it all made sense. It was Gale’s way of covering up so many things.

He felt numb inside. He’d been so angry with Gale for not confiding in him. Now, he didn’t know what to feel.

“Fuck, Gale. If you’d just been honest with me. Maybe… I don’t know, maybe things…”

“Might have been different?” Gale laughed, more out of nervousness than humor. “That maybe we would have stopped all the fucking friendship bullshit and actually both started being honest for a change?”

Randy shrugged and opened his mouth, the words not forming in time before Gale answered for him. “You don’t have to say anything. I fucked up, okay? A fucking set of pictures taken on a fucking beach forced me to admit something I never should have denied in the first place. I was such a fucking hypocrite.”

Randy reached for him, putting his hands on Gale’s shoulders, forcing their eyes to meet. “I understand. And I don’t think you’re a hypocrite.”

Gale tried to look away, but Randy moved his hand to Gale’s chin, turning his head back. “I know how this business is… how people can manipulate and control you until you think you’re doing what needs to be done. Until you think you don’t have a choice.”

“Don't make excuses. You always have a choice. I just made the wrong one.” He placed his hand over Randy’s, pulling it away to guide it around his waist and then let go when he felt the fingers wrapping around his belt loop. He moved in closer, sliding through the long, blond hair, and gripped the back of Randy’s neck. “If I’d had my choice, I would have done this a long time ago." He placed his lips over Randy’s, kissing him softly and then dove deeper when he felt Randy’s tongue urging something more.

It was like finding something you’d lost and then trying to hold onto it so you wouldn’t ever lose it again. So familiar because they’d felt each other this way so many times, but yet different because this was real. It was honest and open and it was them. No characters, no scripts… no cameras.

Gale felt Randy shift and then try to pull away, and he let him go, only to see the confusion with a larger hint of guilt.

“God, Randy, I’m sorry. I just… I didn’t mean...”

“I have to… we should…” Pointing toward the door, Randy turned and darted inside, not even glancing back to see if Gale was following.

Missed Opportunities 2/4

“Stop avoiding me.”

Randy halfheartedly glanced up into the mirror at Gale’s reflection behind him, finished washing his hands and reached for a paper towel. They hadn’t spoken in two hours. By the time Gale returned to the hall, Randy had switched seats with Hal and was greeting fans and taking pictures from the opposite end of the table.

“You followed me into the bathroom to tell me to stop avoiding you?”

“Well I couldn’t get your attention any other way. You’ve made sure of that.”

Randy shrugged, tossed the wet towel into the garbage and grabbed the handle of the door. Before he could open it, Gale’s hand was on his shoulder, lightly trying to pull him back.

“Please.”

He stopped, hesitated for a moment and then finally turned back around. “What do you want me to say, Gale?”

Gale pulled his arm back, suddenly feeling awkward, as if he had no right to be touching any part of the man in front of him. That was what got them into this weird sort of awkwardness to begin with.

“I’m not expecting anything. I just don’t want you to be mad at me.” His eyes drifted downward as his hands slid inside his pockets.

Randy blinked and Gale could tell he was trying to control his facial expressions. He was usually so open, so animated... But right now, Gale had no idea what was going on inside his head. The only thing he did know, was that an apology was in order. “I fucked up. I’m sorry.”

With a shake of his head, Randy surprised him. “I’m not mad at you. I wasn’t then and I’m not now, so don’t worry about it, okay?”

Gale didn’t answer; instead, he stood staring, not convinced.

“Okay?” Randy repeated.

“Then why…?”

“Because this feels weird. I should have stopped it.” He hesitated and then added, “I should have, but I didn’t.”

“Look, it doesn’t have to be anything… it’s not like we haven’t kissed before.”

“We haven’t... not like that.”

And Gale couldn’t argue because he knew Randy was right. This wasn’t a simple peck on the cheek like friends or acquaintances. This was more, and they both knew it. Something like this could either make or break a friendship, even one as close as theirs had been.

Making the decision for both of them, Gale decided enough was enough. It was time to lighten the fucking mood and that was exactly what he intended to do. “Sure we have. Five full years of hot, horny, fuck me kisses.”

He moved in quickly, pushing his body against Randy’s, shoving him harder against the edge of the counter. He gave a deadly grin and locked onto Randy’s lips, sliding his tongue against the top one, licking at the taste that was so familiar. He pulled away just as quick and raised his eyebrow, staring directly into crystal blue eyes. “See? Just a kiss, nothing to it.”

Randy let out a breath, stared shell-shocked for just a moment and Gale could see the exact moment when Randy figured out what he was trying to do. When he realized things didn’t have to be as serious as they were making it out to be. His lips slowly slid into a smile. “You’re such a weirdo.”

“And I need a drink. What do you say we go make our presence known?”

Randy chuckled, nodded and followed Gale out of the bathroom. Just as quickly as it started, the awkwardness was over.

~*~

Closing down a local pub for their private use, they’d planned an evening for just the cast, their family and a select group of friends. If this was truly their last hoorah, they were dead set on making it a memorable one.

Gale and Randy joined the others after making a quick detour to the bar, and sat down with their drinks to watch Peter and Michelle on the dance floor doing their own saucy rendition of Dirty Dancing. Three hours later, they were still drinking and everyone else was taking bets on who could out drink the other. No one would actually win of course, because there wasn’t a sober person in the place to keep track of the count.

Before long, everyone was on the dance floor with the exception of the two of them. Sitting side by side in a long booth that took up the entire back wall, Randy was leaning against Gale, his head resting against Gale’s arm as they laughed at the rest of their friends. This was normal. Comfortable. Back to the way things should have been. They’d been talking about everything and nothing, catching up on the year that had passed them by. They agreed to never lose touch like that again and pinky swore with a toast to seal it. Gale was listening to Randy talk about the theater, some role that he was dying to land when suddenly, without warning, he felt a warm breath against his ear.

“Where’s your stash?”

Not at all what he was expecting, he laughed at the blatant display when Randy’s hand began probing his shirt, patting him down. He made it as far as the right front pocket of Gale’s jeans before Gale grabbed his wrist, diverting an embarrassing scene for both of them. They may have been playing as friends all night, but Randy’s hands being anywhere in the proximity of Gale’s crotch was putting them in dangerous territory.

He fumbled in the pocket of his coat, which was lying next to him in the booth and pulled out the shiny, silver object. “I stole this from the set. Didn’t think anyone would mind.”

Randy recognized it immediately. With a smile, he grabbed it and playfully held it up. “I mind! What if I wanted it? Besides, if you’re not careful, people will start believing all the rumors about you.”

Gale grabbed the case back, pulling out a joint and holding it to his lips. “And what rumor would that be?”

Randy laughed again. “That you’re a stoner.”

Gale smiled and lit up, inhaling deeply and passed it to Randy. “There’s nothing wrong with indulging in the occasional recreational drug.”

Randy took a hit and exhaled slowly. “Spoken like the Brian Kinney we all know and love.”

They both smiled and he took another drag before handing it back to Gale. Feeling comfortable and completely at ease for the first time since he’d arrived, Randy scooted down the booth, lying down on his back with his knees raised and rested his head on Gale’s thigh.

“You know, you really shouldn’t believe everything you read.”

Randy didn’t say anything. He knew that given enough time… and weed…

“I was never really with Kim.”

Randy’s head tilted to look upside down at Gale’s face, causing the entire room to rotate. “What?”

“Kim… or anyone else... at least, not seriously.”

“But I thought…”

“She was just a friend willing to help me out. Give the press something to talk about.”

Randy thought about it silently for a few seconds and then finally replied, “Wow.” He reached his hand up for the joint, but Gale swatted it away.

“Close your eyes.”

He stared up at the other man in confusion, but closed his eyes anyway when Gale nodded at him. He was waiting patiently when he felt fingers curling through his hair and felt Gale shift under him slightly. Even with his lids tightly squeezed together, he sensed the presence close to his face and then... Warmth against him, the taste of liquor as Gale’s tongue ran between his lips, trying to force its way inside. Just the feel alone was enough to make him comply and he slowly opened his mouth to the invasion of the smoke Gale had been holding. He let it fill him completely until he felt Gale pull away and then he breathed deep, taking it into his lungs. He couldn’t help the small moan and opened his eyes to see Gale staring down at him, a glazed over, wanton look on his face. He knew that look, that dangerous predatory stare which he was positive matched his own. He knew better than to get stoned with Gale.

“Well don’t the two of you look cozy?”

They both jumped at the sound of Peter’s voice and then broke out into a fit of giggles, Randy sitting up as fast as his head would allow him.

“Just a little pick-me-up,” Gale snorted, showing Peter the finished roach as he tossed it into the ashtray in front of him.

“Good! Now maybe we can get you on the dance floor where you belong! Your presence is being requested.”

Randy laughed and moved away, making room for Gale to slide around him.

“Oh no, Mr. Harrison. You don’t get off the hook that easy.” Peter was grinning ear to ear, which was never a good sign. It usually meant he was going to get them all into a lot of trouble. Usually something embarrassing that would be talked about for weeks. “Since this is a last of our ride down memory lane, we’ve all voted and agreed unanimously.”

Gale’s brow furrowed as his head tilted in an effort to understand. “What the fuck are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about the two of you getting your hot little asses out here for a little of that Brian and Justin scorching chemistry. Time to shake your booties, boys!” He held out his hand and Randy shook his head with a smile, gripping tightly so Peter could pull him up.

Gale decided he was crazy, or completely stoned, the latter being the more reasonable explanation when he found himself following the other two men onto the dance floor.

~*~

The music was thumping; a beat that would undoubtedly put Babylon to shame, and Gale quickly reminded himself that there was no such thing as Babylon. Or Brian. Or Justin. But when they were like this, with Randy’s hands wrapped around his neck, and his resting around Randy’s hips, it was hard to tell whether this was really them, or just the characters they’d portrayed for so many years.

Gale decided his earlier assumption was exactly right. They were both too fucking stoned. It was the only way that would explain how they’d slipped right back into the comfort zone without so much as a care or concern after what had happened between them earlier. Their friends, the people responsible for this outlandish act, were cheering them on, whistles and catcalls all around.

Randy grinned at him and without words it was decided. If everyone wanted a fucking show, they were going to get one. They’d been doing this for five years. The way their bodies moved against each other was almost as familiar as breathing. Randy’s head dipped backward, exposing his neck for Gale’s lips to slide along the stretched column of muscle. Gale felt the goose bumps as his tongue tickled the soft flesh, knowing it was one of Randy’s erogenous zones he was toying with and smiled against Randy’s chest, moving his hands to cup the globes of his ass. He pulled him forward, grinding his knee between Randy’s legs, hearing the small whimper escaping Randy’s throat.

He was riding an incredible high, the weed and whiskey mixing to a perfect blend of bliss, topped only by the feel of Randy in his arms, pressed against every inch of his body. He caught a glimpse, just a small portion of the infamous Sunshine smile before he was smothered by wet, warm lips rubbing against his. He could feel the electricity between them and by the desperation in the kiss, he knew Randy felt it too. Their movements had slowed, still pulsing to the beat of the music, but on a much lesser scale, instead, they began grinding against each other slowly while their hands gripped and pulled at each other fiercely.

This wasn’t a show. It wasn’t an act to satisfy the nostalgic needs of their friends and colleagues. This was five years of pent up desire, begging to finally be unleashed. Gale closed his eyes and worked his lips along Randy’s jaw line, stopping when he reached his ear. He allowed a subtle moan to escape, letting Randy know exactly what effect he was having on him. In a low, raspy voice, he breathed out, “God, I want you.”

Blue eyes turned suddenly, trained on his and Randy stared as if he was silently begging Gale to talk him into it. He didn’t have to say anything. Gale was more than ready to beg.

“Come back to my room. Stay with me tonight.”

Randy closed his eyes, leaning his head against Gale’s shoulder. “You know I can’t.”

“But you want to.”

Randy sighed. “It doesn’t matter what I…” he looked up, and Gale saw the warring confusion in his eyes. “I love Simon.”

Gale’s eyes narrowed as he sucked his bottom lip in. “I know. I have no doubt that you do.”

“Then why ask me…?”

“Because I fucking want you. I can’t pretend anymore that I don’t want this,” he whispered, biting the lobe of Randy’s ear between his teeth, tugging gently. “I want to feel you under me, above me…riding me…” he slid his hand down, rubbing it against the outside of Randy’s thigh, “I want to know what it feels like to be inside you.” He kissed the side of Randy’s neck, just beneath his ear, and whispered his final request. “I want to watch you when you come… see the expression on your face when it’s actually real and it’s for me. I want to remember you… not Justin.”

“God, Gale. Why couldn’t this have happened four years ago? Before I was happy… before I’d… before I’d given up on you.”

Gale’s eyes widened as he pulled away slightly, just enough to be able to stare directly into Randy’s. “Because I was an idiot. Because I didn’t realize then that I’d never meet anyone else like you.” He smiled, knowing he was slowly breaking down Randy’s barriers. “Because I didn’t know someone like Simon would waltz in and sweep you off your feet when I wasn’t looking.”

“I was in love with you,” Randy confessed, “for a long time. Now, things are…”

Gale leaned in, taking Randy’s lips, holding onto the kiss for as long as he could and then finally, “I’m not asking for anything permanent. I’m not asking you not to love Simon, or to change your life. All I want is just one night. One night to have you all to myself.” He took a long, steady breath. “I didn’t want to leave here without letting you know…”

A finger placed gently against his lips stopped him and just like that, Randy nodded his head.

"Yes."

Missed Opportunities 3/4

Gale bent Randy backward, kissing him while he slid the card-shaped room key into his back pocket. “314. I’ll stay and mingle for a while and then I’ll join you.”

“You don’t think they’ll be suspicious if we both leave?” Randy asked, nervously glancing around. By now, everyone had become bored with them and had already shuffled off to have their own fun. “Maybe I should say I’m not feeling well or something.”

“Doesn’t matter. Everyone thinks we’ve been fucking for years anyway.”

Randy’s shocked expression made Gale laugh. “Oh, don’t tell me you never heard those rumors?” He chuckled again. “I always assumed that was the reason Simon didn’t like me.”

Randy shook his head. “Simon doesn’t like you because he knows I do.”

“Hmm. Then I guess it’s a good thing he doesn’t actually think we’re fucking.”

The silence that hung in the air was almost deafening. If the term ‘Open mouth, insert foot’ could be used to describe the moment, Gale knew he’d be choking on an entire fucking leg. Finally, Randy’s eyes softened, easing the sudden tension. There was no way Simon would find out. Period.

“I’ll be waiting for you.”

Gale nodded, forcing himself to let go and left the dance floor, returning to the booth they’d been sitting in earlier. He kept his eyes focused on Randy, watching as he said goodbye to several people and skipped others he’d be sure to see at the farewell breakfast planned for the next morning. Gale was almost crawling out of his skin in anticipation, but regardless of what people did or didn’t already think they were doing together, he knew Randy would freak if he followed him up too soon. Instead, he plied himself with one more drink, watching the clock, trying to decide how much was enough time.

~*~

Fifteen long minutes later, Gale took a quick trip to the small convenience store located on the ground floor of the hotel, walking out with the supplies every gay man should have on hand at all times. He was amazed by the fact that he was in a grand hotel, with a city full of hot guys at his disposal, and not a single condom in his possession. Then again, he wasn’t interested in any other men right now, and never imagined he and Randy would ever be in the position to need them. As much as he’d fantasized, the truth was, they’d always been nothing more than friends. Friends that always found a need to touch one another, who made simple excuses for longer embraces than necessary… but just friends nonetheless.

~*~

“What the fuck happened to you?” Gale asked, trying to hold back a snicker as he looked at the wet man in front of him.

Scott frowned, trying to pull his soaked shirt away from his chest, and pushed the elevator button for the third floor. “Peter and a bucket of water, that’s what.”

Gale laughed, plucking at Scott’s sleeve. “His sense of fun knows no limits.”

Scott smiled and rolled his eyes. “Yeah, but I’m always on the receiving end when he decides to have a little fun.”

Gale laughed again as the elevator came to a stop, and then followed Scott as he stepped out.

“So, why’d you take off so early?” Scott asked, “I thought you’d be up all night with the rest of them.”

“Oh, just a bit tired,” Gale answered. He held up the small, paper bag in his hand and faked a yawn, stopping when he reached the door to his room. “Bought a book. Plan to read for awhile and then turn in.”

Scott smiled and then gave Gale a look that said ‘I know exactly what you’re up to’. “Well, have fun… with your book.”

Gale nodded and pulled out his spare key as Scott continued past him. He unlocked the door and was about to push it open when he heard Scott’s voice again from further down the hall. “Tell Randy we hope he’s feeling better and don’t the two of you be late for breakfast.”

Gale could almost make out the smirk before Scott disappeared around the corner.

~*~

“Everything was good. No, there were a lot of people… Yeah, mostly…”

Gale slid silently into the room, watching Randy pace back and forth as he spoke on his cell phone, motioning for Gale to be silent. He sat down on the bed, trying to be as quiet as he could, feeling as if he was eavesdropping on a conversation he shouldn’t have been. He tried to give Randy a little privacy and slipped into the bathroom, knowing he was still going to listen intently to every word being said. It didn’t take him long to figure out who was on the other end and he felt a twinge of jealousy that he quickly tried to push away. He had no right to feel what he was feeling. Simon was Randy’s boyfriend and he was just a one-time thing. As much as his brain understood that, his heart and body were betraying him, feeling every bit the scorned lover.

“Ron and Dan weren’t there… yeah just the cast…”

Gale heard a brief pause and then heard Randy sigh. “He was fine…” another pause, “Of course I talked to him…”

Silence again, only longer this time until Randy said, “You’re being ridiculous. If you were that worried about it, you should have come with me… I did too ask you, you just weren’t interested.”

His voice rose a bit, and Gale could tell he was trying to remain quiet, probably for his benefit. “He’s my friend, Simon, you know that. Look, we’ve had this discussion too many times and it never ends well. I’m gonna go before…”

Simon had obviously given up, because Randy’s tone became softer again, the heat of an impending argument suddenly gone. “I know, I know you do. Yeah, 3:00. Okay… Dinner sounds good. See you tomorrow… “ And then he hesitated. “I love you, too.”

Gale gave Randy a moment and then opened the door and stepped out. Randy threw the phone down onto the nightstand beside him and ran his hand nervously through his hair.

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

“I didn’t mean for you to hear…”

“You don’t have to apologize for talking to him. If anything, I should be the one saying I’m sorry.”

“Don’t,” he answered firmly. “No apologies, okay?”

Gale found Randy’s eyes and nodded. “No regrets?”

A hint of a smile curled on Randy’s lips. “Brian was always smarter than any of us.”

“When he wasn’t too busy being an ass.”

They both smiled, trying to pretend that Randy hadn’t just been defending their platonic friendship to Simon. Finally, not able to avoid the tension, Randy sat down on the end of the bed and rubbed his face in his hands, before pushing them through his hair. “What the fuck are we doing, Gale?”

Gale pushed the paper bag aside and sat down beside him. He didn’t say anything, knowing Randy was trying to work it all out and that the question was actually rhetorical. He knew by now that in sticky situations like this one, it was better to wait it out until Randy came up with his own answer. This time, he didn’t have to wait too long.

It was only seconds before Randy said, “He’s gonna know. I can’t lie for shit. The next time you and I talk, or someone mentions your name…”

Gale’s arm slid up his back, gently playing with the hair hanging below the nape of his neck. Randy leaned into him slightly, using the soothing touch to calm himself down.

“Randy…” Gale spoke softly.

When the blue eyes turned to meet his, he saw so much worried confusion staring back at him. Gale leaned in, wrapped his hand around the back of Randy’s neck and kissed him. He kissed him with all the pent up desire he’d hidden for so long, all the years of wanting something he knew he couldn’t have. He tried to make it clear with this single kiss, that whatever Randy was feeling, there was something a lot deeper between them than just a physical need for each other. That this was about so much more than simple fucking.

When they finally let go, Gale pulled back and lowered his eyes. “I won’t lie and say I wouldn’t be disappointed, but I’d also understand if you don’t want to do something you might regret later. Something that…”

Randy stopped him, placing his hands on either side of Gale’s face and pulled his head up. Looking directly into the hazel eyes, in a hushed voice he answered, “I would never regret anything that happens between us.”

Gale stared back just as intently.

Randy shook his head. “It’s just… I don’t want to ruin anything.”

“I know you’re worried about Simon…”

Randy frowned. “I wasn’t talking about Simon. I mean, I can’t say I’m not feeling guilty. I’ve never even considered… he’s been the only one since I met him.” He glanced down and then let his eyes travel slowly back up again. “Hiding this from him… God, I can’t imagine what I’m gonna feel when I see him.” He paused and then inhaled slowly. “But I do want this. The only regret I would have is if I deny these feelings for you, what I’m feeling right now. I’ll have to deal with what it means for me and Simon later.” He paused again, long enough to kiss Gale softly. “What I meant was that I don’t want to ruin things between us. I don’t want things to get weird. I couldn’t handle that.”

Gale smiled. “You mean weirder than the fake fucking we did for five years? Or better yet, weirder than pretending we didn’t feel anything for each other the entire time?” He pulled his bottom lip between his teeth and then smiled again. “Or thinking we could hide the fact that we were always so fucking hard every time we touched each other… is that the kind of weird you’re talking about?”

Randy snorted and stood up, clasping his hands together. “Not exactly the weird I was thinking about, but now that you mention it…” He shook his head and let a smile curl on his lips. “I guess I am being kind of dramatic. I have a habit of doing that.”

Gale followed, standing in front of him, pushing the blond strands of hair away from Randy’s eyes. “On the contrary…” He let his hand drop, sliding the back of his fingers down Randy’s chest, until he reached the waistband of his jeans. “It’s one of your best qualities. You never take things lightly. That’s usually a good thing.”

“Mmm,” Randy moaned, as Gale began peppering kisses along his jaw line. “Gale?” he asked softly, “Are we really going to do this?”

Speaking in a low whisper just below Randy’s ear, he said, “If not, one of us has to go. Another few minutes with you and I won’t want to stop.” He kissed him gently, sliding the tip of his tongue down the side of his neck. “I don’t think I’d be able to.”

Randy closed his eyes and pulled Gale’s body closer to his, wrapping his arms around him. Up on the tips of his toes, he met Gale’s lips and let the kiss serve as his answer.

They’d seen and felt every inch of each other over the course of their years together. They’d been intimate in ways that no one else who wasn’t in the same situation would ever understand. But now, without the cameras controlling the movements, or the script telling him what to say, Gale was as nervous as he was the first time they touched, and by the look in Randy’s eyes, he was feeling the same.

Gale decided right then, that being direct was the only way either of them would get through the first-time bullshit. For once in his life, he wanted nothing more than to channel the self-confidence his character had exhumed with no obvious effort. Brian Kinney, he was not, but like Brian, he knew exactly what he wanted. He let his hand slide down, rubbing against the material of Randy’s jeans, cupping his cock. “Do you even know what you do to me?”

“Probably the same thing you do to me.” Randy smiled and gazed up through his eyelashes. “God, Gale. I can’t tell you how many times I almost embarrassed both of us...”

Gale smirked as he interrupted. “You don’t have to. I was there, remember? I was always so close… so close I could almost imagine it was for real.”

Randy moaned and closed his eyes as Gale began walking them slowly backward until they were pressed against the wall. “I used to wonder what they’d say if I didn’t use the sock. If I just came in one day without it. I knew the rules, knew we had to, but sometimes… I just wanted you to feel me… I wanted you to know exactly how hard you made me.”

Gale slowly began opening Randy’s shirt, carefully unfastening it one button at a time. “You’d be on your knees in front of me, and I’d be right up against you, the perfect position… God, I just wanted everyone else to disappear.”

He pulled the material of the shirt aside, eased it off the other man’s shoulders and let it drop to the floor. When Randy’s breathing quickened at his touch, Gale smiled and let his fingers trail a line from the top of Randy’s collarbone, down to his nipples, teasing them into tiny peaks. “I’ve wanted you for so long.”

Gale dropped his head, fastening on one sensitive nipple, first licking then biting and then moved to the other, pulling lightly with his teeth as he heard loud moans of approval from above him. He slid his mouth off and eased down to his knees, continuing to lick down Randy’s stomach and abdomen until he was positioned directly in front of his groin. “God, how could anyone not want you?”

He reached out and wrapped his fingers around Randy’s hips, looking up into the eyes staring down at him. The sight jarred him, enough to cause him to stop for a moment. There were times on the set, when they’d be in the middle of a scene, and Randy would turn around and look at him. It wasn’t at any particular moment that he could remember, or any significant kind of scene, it was only a casual glance every so often that would say so much more than words ever could. It was a look that said ‘We’re in this together and I know exactly how you’re feeling because I feel it too’. That was the only way he knew how to describe it. It was the same look he was seeing right now as Randy stared down at him.

When he returned his attention to what he was doing, Randy already had his jeans unfastened and was anxiously trying to push them down. Gale batted him away and took over, letting the pants fall, and then curled his fingers into the waistband of his briefs. Slowly, he scooted them down to join the jeans already around Randy’s ankles.

“Fuck, you’re killing me,” Randy begged, threading his fingers through Gale’s hair, trying to pull his head forward. “Please, Gale, just… oh God.”

Licking his lips, Gale wrapped his hand around the base of Randy’s cock and took the head into his mouth. When Randy closed his eyes and opened his lips slightly, letting out a soft sigh, Gale’s free hand slid around, and gave Randy’s ass a squeeze before firmly kneading the flesh, caressing him as he continued to explore his cock. His tongue dipped inside the slit, and he couldn’t help the moan that escaped his lips as he was finally able to taste Randy for the first time.

Randy’s hands tightened and his breath hitched as he unsuccessfully managed to form any coherent words. He settled with a steady moan as Gale licked down the underside, his cock already threatening to explode just from the little bit of contact with Gale’s mouth.

Gale pulled off to shift his weight and whispered, “Tell me what you want. What makes you feel good.”

Randy whimpered. “Anything…just knowing it’s you touching me… please.” Frustrated by the lack of contact, he pushed his hips forward, attempting to rub himself against Gale’s lips. When Gale smiled and returned to his task, opening his mouth around him, Randy’s eyes drifted shut and the back of his head found the wall behind him.

Gale’s hands moved forward, gripping Randy’s hips, until Randy’s joined them, habitually linking their fingers together. It was one of those small gestures, never written into the script, but something they always did. It was that link between them that never belonged to Brian and Justin.

Gale could hear the babbling, the senseless words of encouragement escaping Randy’s lips, but he was too focused on pleasuring him to give a fuck about what he was actually saying. He could make out ‘fuck’ and ‘Gale’ and those were the only two words he needed to hear.

Randy’s grip on his hands tightened and he began rocking his hips, encouraging his cock to slide deeper inside Gale’s mouth. Gale tried to ignore the straining of his own erection, but it was becoming increasingly difficult as it pushed against his jeans, jumping in excitement each time he did something to pull another moan or whimper from Randy. He took one last long lick up Randy’s shaft and then pulled him inside, swallowing as deep as he could.

“Almost,” Randy whimpered, “I’m so close…”

His eyes shifted, concentrating on Randy’s face, taking note of every expression… every twist of pleasure on his lips as he began to hum, sending small vibrations down the length of Randy’s cock, forcing the orgasm from his body. He swallowed and swallowed, taking every drop until Randy’s body began to relax, and his heavy pants turned to more controlled gasps of breath.

Slowly, Gale slid up Randy’s body and pushed his hips against him, gripping the blond hair between his fingers. “Now I know.”

Randy took a final deep breath and asked, “Now you know what?”

Gale smiled and kissed him softly. “I never realized how much of Justin was just an act. Watching you… the expression on your face… he doesn’t even come close to what I just saw.”

And there was that smile again. That bright, ear-to-ear smile that drove Gale crazy. Randy leaned into him, stealing his lips again, tugging at the bottom of his shirt. “Take this off. Things are feeling a little awkward here,” he complained, glancing down at his nakedness between them.

Gale chuckled and stepped back, giving Randy space to slide out of his pants, which were still balled up around his ankles, and then kissed him again before leading him to the bed. Randy sat back, watching Gale toss his jacket onto the floor. He waited in anticipation; his eyes glued as Gale fumbled with his belt and then shimmied out of his jeans, followed by his shirt before throwing it onto the floor beside them.

Gale was standing in front of him and the sight was better than he could have imagined. He’d seen him without clothes, although usually in a robe, but not like this… not for him. No cock sock in the way, he was fully exposed and vulnerable, leaving only naked, hardened flesh. He reached up, pulling him closer and wrapped his hand around Gale’s cock, stroking it in long, slow movements.

“I’ve had dreams about us,” Randy admitted, his eyelids at half-mast, a far off look in his eyes.

Gale’s tongue curled and he bit his bottom lip. “You’ll have to tell me about them sometime.”

Randy smiled and watched a tiny bubble of pre-come escape the tip and then slide slowly downward. He eased his finger up the side to gather the fluid and then sucked it into his mouth. “This is better than any fantasy. And I knew,” he moaned, “I knew we’d be so good together.”

Randy pulled at him, forcing him down on the bed, urging him onto his back. Gale scooted upward, resting his head on the pillow, watching as Randy settled himself between his legs.

“So, what do you want me to do?”

Gale’s eyes narrowed and he saw the mischievous smile appear on Randy’s lips.

“Should I use my hand?” Randy gripped Gale’s cock and began running his fingers gently down the underside of his shaft. Gale moaned at the contact and squeezed his eyes shut.

“My mouth?” Two more strokes with his fist and Randy leaned down, running his tongue down the same spot his fingers had just abandoned. He repositioned his body and moved down to lie on his stomach, parting Gale’s legs further.

“Or both?” His hand joined again, wrapping around the entire shaft as his tongue moved lower, gliding slowly over his balls, stopping when he reached the puckered entrance.

Gale dipped his head back and cursed in pleasure, tightly gripping the comforter beside him. Randy’s tongue worked the small hole, probing gently at first and then finally pushing in more firmly. Gale found himself gasping for air, pushing down to meet Randy’s thrusts, causing the wandering tongue to go deeper inside. Blue eyes looked up, watching the intense reaction and he stopped long enough to wrap his arms around Gale’s legs, pushing his knees toward his chest, allowing better access. “Fuck, Gale. I never imagined you’d let me do this.”

Gale opened his mouth to answer, but he could only manage a gasp when Randy’s tongue returned to his ass. The truth was, he’d never trusted anyone else enough to want this. It was open, and intimate… something he ‘d always had a hard time feeling with anyone he’d been with. When Randy shifted his hands, pushing his legs even further forward, Gale began to stroke himself, feeling the familiar tingle as he began to climb toward his orgasm. Their eyes met, and it was the most intense feeling he could ever remember sharing with another person.

Gale’s breathing quickened even more as he pumped his cock, the rim job quickly bringing him to the edge. He felt it building, felt Randy’s tongue fucking him faster… harder until finally, Randy’s name passed his lips and he exploded, sending spurts of come shooting over his stomach and onto his chest.

After a moment, when the last of his shudders finally dissipated, Randy let his legs go and slid up beside him. He rolled halfway onto Gale’s body and nudged his head under his chin, using the corner of the rumpled sheet to wipe Gale’s stomach.

“You surprised me.”

Gale looked down at him curiously. “Why?”

“I didn’t think you’d let me near your ass.”

His curiosity turned into a sly smile and he answered, “I’m surprised you think I’d resist anything you wanted to do.”

Randy chuckled. “Well next time, you don’t get to cheat. No hands and I bet I can still make you come.”

Gale didn’t miss the phrase and raised an eyebrow. “Next time?”

Randy lifted his head, finding Gale’s eyes and blinked. He’d not even noticed the easiness in assuming there’d be a next time. He smiled and dropped his head back down.

Gale smiled back and closed his eyes. “Fuck.” He wrapped his fingers in Randy’s hair and began playing with the soft strands. “Do you ever think about us?”

“Hmm?”

Gale took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Do you ever think that maybe we were supposed to be together? They say everything is caused by timing… the planets… all that fucking bullshit.”

Randy moved his head to rest his chin on Gale’s chest, staring up at him. “Are you getting philosophical on me?”

Gale shook his head. “No. It’s just that if I’d been honest, maybe… I don’t know. It just feels so comfortable being with you. And not just because we spent five years pretending to be together. It just feels… right.” He paused and then added, “Imagine what might have happened if you’d never met…”

“Don’t say it.”

Gale stopped, barely biting his tongue, wanting to tell Randy everything that he was feeling, knowing they’d probably never have another chance like this again.

“You can’t do that, Gale. You can’t make me start second-guessing my life. All the ‘what ifs’ and ‘what could have beens’. I’m happy with Simon… he’s good for me.”

“So you’re afraid to even consider what it might have been like?”

Randy sighed and laid his head back down, positioning himself right above Gale’s heart. He listened silently for a moment, letting the sound of the beats become almost hypnotizing. Finally, he said, “I can’t afford to think about it. Too many regrets...too much I should have said and didn’t.”

“Were you really in love with me?”

Randy rolled off Gale and stood up, running his fingers through his hair. “I was high when I said that.”

Gale pulled himself up to sit, leaning back against the headboard. “So?”

Randy sighed and sat back down on the edge of the bed, his body facing away from Gale’s. “You’re not supposed to make confessions when you’re high.”

Gale smiled and scooted down, positioning himself behind Randy, wrapping his arms around the slim waist. He softly kissed the back of his neck and said, “Actually, I find it’s the best time.”

Randy bent his head forward, giving Gale better access, which he took full advantage of. As his tongue darted out to lick the smooth skin along the top of Randy’s spine, feeling the goose bumps rising to his touch, he managed to say, “If you want a confession, I’ve got a better one.” Randy glanced back over his shoulder, waiting… and Gale whispered, “You’ve always been my friend. That’s a given and I’m sure you already know that. But, how do you tell your friend you’ve been in love with him for six years? How do you tell him you think about him constantly and that you can’t imagine ever loving anyone more?”

Randy turned his body around, one leg on the bed, the other still planted on the floor. He leaned his head, resting his ear against Gale’s shoulder and pushed his hand through Gale’s hair. “I think you just did.”

Missed Opportunities 4/4

After a confession as honest as Gale’s, there were no words to express the way either of them was feeling. It wasn’t an uncomfortable feeling, but something they both knew needed to be said. Gale scooted back, laying his head on the pillow and pushed his hands under his head, relieved that Randy finally knew. Randy joined him, casually tossing his leg over both of Gale’s and shifted up onto his elbow, running a finger in slow circles along Gale’s chest.

“I don’t know what to say to that.”

Gale shook his head and closed his eyes, concentrating on the feel of Randy, the way he was hovering so close that he could feel every breath against his skin. “You don’t have to. I wasn’t asking for a response.”

Randy hesitated for a moment and shrugged. “I know that, but when a guy finally admits out loud that he’s in love with you…”

“You smile and say you’re flattered and you go home to your boyfriend.”

“I am flattered.”

“Okay. We’ll just leave it at that then.”

Randy heard the slight tone of sadness and chose to ignore it, instead changing to a less intimate subject. “So who was the guy?”

Gale turned his head in confusion and Randy explained, “In the pictures. You looked pretty cozy.”

He opened his mouth in a silent ‘oh’ and shook his head. “No one really. A fling. It didn’t last long.”

“Would it have if you hadn’t been caught? I know how those things can cause strain in a relationship.”

Gale shrugged. “It wasn’t a relationship.” He sighed and placed his hand over Randy’s, holding it still against his chest and then added, “We were just fucking.”

There was silence between them again and Randy slid his head from his elbow, laying it against Gale’s, sharing his pillow. “Maybe this isn’t such a good idea.”

“What isn’t?”

“Us. Being here, like this.”

Slowly, Gale closed his eyes and then blinked them open again. “Changing your mind?”

Randy sighed slightly and answered, “I’m not. I’m just… this isn’t fair to you when I know I can’t offer you anything.”

He reached down, pulling Randy’s chin up to face him. He brushed their lips together and then said, “I told you, I’m not expecting anything from you.”

“I’ve never really… I don’t do one night stands.”

Gale smiled and let a laugh escape. He pushed his hand through Randy’s hair and let it rest on the back of his neck. “If you think this is a one night stand, where have you been for the last six years?”

Randy’s lips curled until he was smiling too. “I mean what happens after? What happens tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow, you go back to New York and back to your life with Simon. I go back to Toronto and back to whatever the fuck I do when you’re not around. “

“Toronto? I thought you were still in the States?”

“No. I’m up there for a few months. I’ve got something in the works that’ll keep me busy for a while.”

“Wow. I guess it has been a while since we’ve talked.”

Gale pulled him forward and kissed him again. “Too fucking long. I missed you.”

“Me too.” Randy sat up suddenly, shifting positions, throwing his leg over Gale’s body to straddle him.

Gale smiled. “Did you really?”

Randy smiled back and leaned down, letting his lips glide across Gale’s, sliding his hips back to rub his ass along Gale’s cock. “Enough to risk ruining the longest relationship I’ve ever had just to be here with you.” He paused, lifting onto his knees and then rubbing against him again as he settled his weight back down. “It doesn’t seem real.”

Gale slowly moved his hand, teasing Randy’s cock with barely there touches. He ran his finger along the shaft, adding just enough pressure to cause a slight moan. “But it is. This is as real as it gets.”

Randy smiled and leaned down, kissing him again. He kept it gentle, running his tongue along Gale’s top lip and then the bottom before slowly pushing it into his mouth. Gale’s hand was between their bodies, stroking Randy leisurely, slowly coaxing his cock to full hardness.

“That feels nice,” he whispered, almost whimpering against Gale’s mouth. He’d missed this. The closeness… the feel of Gale’s body against his. He closed his eyes and tilted his head, resting their foreheads together and then quietly said, “but I want to feel you inside me.”

Gale moaned, turning his head slightly to rub his lips along Randy’s neck. “We need the bag…” he caught his ear lobe between his teeth and tugged gently, “it’s on the end of the bed.”

Randy sighed, not wanting to pull away, but reached back to grab it, letting the contents fall onto the bed beside them. He moved backward, sitting up to reposition himself on Gale’s thighs and ripped the box open. He stared down, watching Gale’s eyes intently as he skillfully unrolled a condom onto Gale’s cock. Following with the bottle of lube, he stroked his hand down the shaft a few times until it was slick enough to glide smoothly. Finally, Gale’s hands moved to his hips as Randy lifted onto his knees.

“I’m gonna go easy,” Randy said softly, “It’s been a while.”

Gale raised his eyebrows in question but anything he wanted to ask became unimportant when Randy eased down onto him. His fingers dug into Randy’s hips and he squeezed his eyes shut, tilting his head back slightly against the pillow. Carefully, Randy took Gale in a little at a time, finally stopping when their bodies were flush together.


“You’re beautiful,” he breathed as he leaned down, licking a path from Gale’s neck up to his ear. In a low, gritty voice, he whispered, “We fit perfect together.”

He shut his eyes and lifted up, sliding back down slowly, beginning a steady pace. With his hands on Gale’s chest, he arched his back, rocking his hips back and forth, tightening his muscles around Gale’s cock. Gale’s breath hitched as he reached up and pulled a handful of hair, bringing Randy down to kiss him, forcing their tongues together, mapping every inch of his mouth.

When the sound of Gale’s whimpering moans began to increase, Randy lifted his eyes to watch the expressions on his lover’s face. Gale looked solemnly at him and then smiled. Randy couldn’t help but smile back, knowing this was a moment long overdue for both of them. Randy met his lips again gently at first and then took the kiss deeper. With their eyes locked, Gale bent his knees, planting his feet firmly on the bed and began a slow, steady glide… thrusting upward in, out, in, out… just a small push forward each time. Randy thrust against him and began to pant, clenching his muscles, closing his eyes when he felt the burn as Gale buried himself all the way inside.

He gripped Gale’s arms, digging his fingers into his skin and moved slightly sideways, urging Gale to move with him. Understanding, Gale manipulated their bodies, rolling them onto the other side of the bed, Randy’s body pinned beneath his.

“Oh, yeah,” Randy moaned when Gale’s strained cock eased back in, just barely inside him and then began slowly pushing through the tight ring of muscle again. He thrust upward and then groaned, taking even more inside. With a moan, Gale quickly grabbed Randy’s hips, trying to hold steady as Randy slid his legs up to rest his calves on Gale’s shoulders.

Randy smiled and bent forward, reaching for Gale’s lips as their bodies began to move together slowly. His panting turned to low, seductive moans as Gale fucked deep and steady into his body, the burn of the new position easing and giving way to toe-curling pleasure each time Gale rubbed along his walls. Wanting more, he used his hands to push against the bed, raising his ass a little higher. “That’s good, Gale. Oh God, that’s so good.”

Gale leaned into him, pushing his legs toward his head and began kissing him, easing the movement of his thrusts again, concentrating more on the steady glide of their lips. Randy’s fingers curled into Gale’s hair, forcing him to stay, begging to be kissed longer and deeper. He knew he could spend hours pressed against Gale’s lips and be content. The fact that their bodies were joined and he could feel the slow, steady throbbing inside him was just an added bonus.

Finally, when all movement stopped, Randy opened his eyes to see an intense look of concentration. “Why’d you stop?”

Gale pushed the wet, matted hair away from Randy’s face and whispered, “Just watching you. Feeling you. I don’t want to forget this.”

Randy stared into the beautiful, hazel eyes and smiled. “I’ll never forget making love to you.” He brought their mouths together again and kissed him slower, wanting it to last, but then felt an even greater urge. He placed his hand on Gale’s cheek, rubbing his fingers against the soft whiskers and said, “It doesn’t matter who I’m with, Gale. It could be Simon, or if that doesn’t last it could be someone else. Either way, the one thing I’m sure of is that I’ll always love you. I’ll always want you and there’s no one out there who will ever make me feel the way you do.”

Gale blinked, holding back his emotions and whispered, “You never know what’s going to happen. Not now, but maybe next month, maybe next year…”


Randy nodded and closed his eyes, trying not to let the mistiness become real tears. Gale seemed to know what he was doing and nuzzled into his neck, letting him gain control before moving his lips to his ear and whispering, “I’m not Brian.” He softly kissed the skin at the base of his neck and added, “If I had you, I'd never let you go.”

Randy’s breath hitched and he reached for Gale, pulling him as close as he could, taking in every muscle, every breath as their chests rose and fell against each other. Gale’s hips shifted and he began the easy glide again, reveling in the reaction of Randy’s body to his. Consumed with the heat and tightness surrounding him, he reached for Randy’s hips, gripping him hard enough to leave finger marks and with added force, slammed all the way inside. Randy gasped and Gale continued, picking up momentum as he began to pound into the other man. “God, I need you… I just need to feel you.”

When Randy’s shoulders began to slowly slide back across the bed from the force of the movement, Gale grabbed his legs and pulled him back, forcing him to meet his thrusts. Both men moaned, Gale’s hips fucking hard and fast while Randy squeezed and clenched, working his muscles around Gale’s cock.

“I could stay inside you forever,” Gale grunted through clenched teeth.

Randy moaned and slid his legs down Gale’s arms, crossing them around the lean waist. He used his calves to squeeze, pulling Gale in deeper as he thrust.

“Oh fuck, Randy.” In a quick movement, with one hand still holding him, he slid the other down to Randy’s cock and began pumping him, urging him to come. He threw his head back, biting his lip hard between his teeth and pushed one final time, feeling the wetness on his stomach from Randy’s orgasm as his own body flooded the condom.

Collapsing from the intensity, Gale waited, letting Randy’s legs go but lying against his chest until he felt the last of the small tremors subside. He didn’t want to move, didn’t want to leave the warmth of Randy’s body, but knew he had to and finally forced himself. He pulled out and rolled beside him, trying to catch his breath while he freed his cock from the confines of the condom. Once it was tied off and flung in the other direction, he laid back, stretching out beside Randy.

They stayed content, lying still against each other, reveling in the moment, while they allowed themselves time to bask in the afterglow. Randy looked over and met Gale staring back at him.

“I love you.”

Gale smiled and curled his lip between his teeth. “You can’t possibly think I’m ever letting you leave this room.”

Randy smiled back and rolled onto his side, using the same corner of bed sheet he used earlier to wipe the wetness off Gale’s stomach, then scooted closer to lay his head against Gale’s chest. “Promise me you’ll keep in touch this time? You’ll come and see me?”

Gale thought about it for a minute and agreed, “Only when Simon’s not around. I don’t think I could handle seeing you with him.”

Randy nodded and began making lazy circles with his finger on Gale’s chest. “I’ll think about you.”

“Call me when you do?”

Randy grinned and answered, “He might get suspicious if I’m calling you everyday.”

Gale chuckled but couldn’t help the smile that curled on his lips.

Randy smiled with him and closed his eyes. “I don’t want this night to end.”

Gale pulled him closer and wrapped his arm tighter around his body. “We still have time.”

Randy sighed and kissed him. “We need to sleep. They’ll be waiting for us in the morning.”

Gale nodded and let Randy roll over, spooning his body against him.

~*~

They came together two more times before morning.

Gale had been with a lot of men, but he’d never made love to anyone.

He was amazed by the difference.

~*~

He woke up to the sound of loud buzzing, an empty bed and a folded piece of paper. Rolling onto his back, he lit a cigarette from a pack on the nightstand and carefully opened it up.

You looked so comfortable, I didn’t want to wake you. Besides, I figured it’d be easier this way. If I woke up with you, I’d have a harder time leaving.”

I hope I set the alarm early enough. Breakfast is at 10:00 and I think everyone’s meeting in the lobby. Fuck, I don’t know how I’m going to say goodbye to you again.

At least I won’t have to look back at this weekend as another missed opportunity. It was truly incredible.

You’re incredible.

No apologies, no regrets…okay?

I’ll see you at 10:00

Love, Randy

~*~

Gale folded the note and lay back in bed, exhaling the smoke above him.

He didn’t show up for breakfast and he didn’t say goodbye to Randy.

He’d said everything he needed to say the night before.

TITLE: Missed Opportunities - Sequel - 2 weeks later

Randy fiddled with the television remote, pushing stop on the DVD player before tossing it beside him on the couch. He couldn’t watch that if he was going to gain any nerve at all. He glanced up at the clock and picked up the phone for the third time and cradled it in his palm. Staring at the numbers, he mentally recited Gale’s number. Shaking his head, he picked up the remote control again, this time hitting the mute button, silencing the TV. It was late, close to midnight, but knowing Gale, he’d still be awake.

Reluctantly, he punched the numbers on the telephone keypad and listened. One ring, two rings… three rings later and he was almost relieved when there was no answer. At least this way, he could convince himself he felt better for trying. About to hang up, there was a click on the line and he was startled to hear Gale’s voice on the other end.

“Hey.”

“Hey. I didn’t think you were going to answer,” he said, his voice carrying all the nervousness he was feeling.

“I wasn’t, but then I saw it was you.”

Randy smiled and sat back on the couch, tucking his legs under him. “So…”

“So…”

“I was thinking about you. I said I’d call.”

Gale was quiet on the other end and Randy wondered how pathetic his voice had sounded.

“I was hoping you would,” came the answer. “I figured you’d be pissed at me for not showing up for the obligatory breakfast.” He hesitated and then added, “I was going to call you, but I never know when Simon’s gonna be around.”

Randy heard the subtle sound of exhaling and pictured Gale, lying back, wearing nothing but worn, faded jeans, which were of course, unfastened for comfort. It was having continuous thoughts like that, not Gale, that would get him in trouble.

“I didn’t catch you at a bad time, did I?”

“No.” Another long inhale. Gale waited a few seconds and then said, “No, I was just sitting here. Actually, I was debating staying in or going out.”

“You sound too relaxed to go anywhere.” Randy could only assume it wasn’t a common cigarette he was smoking.

Gale chuckled into the phone. “Yeah. I guess so.”

“Are you alone? I don’t want to keep you if…”

“Yeah. I’m alone.” He took another drag. “I assume you are too? No boyfriend eavesdropping?”

Randy smiled at the hopefulness he heard and answered, “Simon is covering some kind of an awards thing in Chicago. He won’t be back until tomorrow.”

He heard Gale sipping a drink and then a clank as he put it down. “And you didn’t go?”

“No, I didn’t want to.”

“Hmm. Do I detect tension in the Harrison-Dumenco household?”

“You shouldn’t ask things like that.”

“Why? It was just a question.”

Randy sighed. “I know. I’m sorry. You’re just not exactly the best person to gripe to about this.”

“Yeah, well… we both know why.” They were silent for a moment and then Gale offered, “Talk to me. I’ll keep the Simon remarks to myself, okay?”

“I don’t know. It’s just that sometimes I feel like he doesn’t want me around for my company anymore. When we go to these events or dinners, or whatever it is, it’s almost like he’s showing me off. It’s more like a status thing… that we’re supposed to be this gay symbol or something.”

“I’m sure he means well.”

Randy couldn’t help but let out a silent laugh. “No remarks, but you don’t have to defend him either.”

The chuckle on the other end told him Gale agreed. “No defending.”

“I just wish sometimes that he would ease up a little bit. Someone always wants us involved in some cause or to make some kind of statement. He jumps at it, when I’d like to be just ‘us’ once in a while. Everything always has to be so public.”

“Hazards of being a famous gay couple I suppose.”

“I want to be just me, you know? Okay, so I’m gay. Big fucking deal. It doesn’t mean that’s all I am.”

“You don’t have to convince me.”

“Am I just being pretentious?”

Gale laughed. “I’m sure you’ve never been accused of that before,” he replied sarcastically. “Besides, you’re talking to someone who stays as far away from public exposure as possible.”

“So I have an idea. We’ll just run away together and live like hermits.”

“Don’t tempt me,” he teased.

Randy smiled and then said, “I wasn’t surprised when you didn’t show up. I guess it would have been kind of awkward, huh?”

“I woke up late.”

“I set the alarm.”

“I turned it off.”

“You left me to the vultures.”

Gale chuckled and Randy could hear the sound of shuffling on the other line.

“What are you doing?” he asked softly.

“Getting comfortable,” Gale answered, and Randy heard the flick of a lighter.

“Be careful with that shit. Don’t overdo it.”

Gale inhaled. “You know me better than that. I know my limits. So, how bad was it? The breakfast,” he clarified.

Randy over-exaggerated a sigh. “You have no idea. I think it’s safe to say the rumor mill turned into fifty questions… none of which I would answer you’d be happy to know.” He heard Gale laugh and couldn’t help smiling with him.

“I wouldn’t have cared. But I know you have other things… someone else to consider.”

Randy thought of Simon, briefly wondering if any of their friends would have been bothered by the fact that he and Gale had spent the night together. As it was, everyone was perfectly content to believe they’d already been fucking and no one seemed too bothered by the assumption anyway.

“I should have called you sooner.”

“I wasn’t holding my breath.” There was a short hesitation and then he said, “Look Randy, we said a lot of things that night. Things that maybe we shouldn’t have…”

“Do you regret it?”

“What?”

“Just answer the question.”

“No, of course not. I just wasn’t sure…”

“I don’t either,” Randy interrupted. “It’s been hard. I admit being with Simon hasn’t been easy the last couple of weeks. I knew I’d feel guilty but God, Gale… I haven’t stopped thinking about you.”

There was nothing. Nothing but silence for what seemed like forever. Finally, he whispered, “Gale?”

“When you didn’t call, I was afraid you thought it was a mistake.”

“I told you that night, I could never regret anything that happens between us.”

“Did Simon give you a hard time?”

Randy sighed and shifted the phone to his other ear, letting his fingers rub along his thigh, moving against the material of his sweatpants.

“I told him I wasn’t going to talk about it. He didn’t want to go with me, so he didn’t have the right to question what I did while I was there.”

“I’m sure that went over well.”

Randy hesitated. “I convinced him.”

The line was silent again, only the subtle sound of Gale’s breathing letting him know he was still there. “I wish you were here,” Randy whispered, changing the subject.

“And I wish I could ignore the fact that he’s the one in your bed at night.”

“He’s not here now. There’s no one but us.”

“Hold on, let me move into the other room. Don’t hang up.”

Randy listened as the phone clicked and Gale disappeared, leaving nothing but dead silence on the phone line. He reached up, turning off the tableside lamp beside him, showering the room in darkness. The only light was coming from the faint glow of the TV and the streetlamps that always shone in through the front windows of their apartment. He scooted down, stretching out on the couch, and waited.

“I’m back.”

Randy smiled. “Where are you now?”

“In my room.”

“Mmm. So…”

“So…”

Quietly, Randy asked, “Have you thought about it?”

Gale slowly cleared his throat and answered, “It’s all I’ve been thinking about.”

Randy let his eyes drift shut and shifted his hand slightly. “I remember everything you said to me… everything you did.”

He could hear sheets rustling and a smile curled on his lips when he received a mumbled, “I’m thinking about it right now.”

He could tell from the tone exactly what Gale was doing. Helping him along, he whispered, “Does it feel nice?”

Gale moaned softly, “Mmm… yeah.”

Randy let out a deep groan and reached for the remote, pushing play and then flicked the mute button again, turning up the sound. His fingers slid slowly into his waistband as he watched the images on the screen. He allowed a few minutes to go by, listening to Gale’s rapid breathing on the other line.

“I can picture you, lying there…so hard…” Randy licked his lips and swallowed, whispering, “You’re so fucking beautiful like that.”

He listened to the soft sighs, picturing Gale’s face, Gale’s body… his hands roaming over every spot of his own skin.

“Are you almost there?”

“Uh huh.”

“Mmm, I bet you look so hot… I can see it… your eyes are closed, your mouth… slightly open… Are you thinking of me? ”

“Yesss…” Gale’s voice was broken, almost breathless and Randy could barely stand it. He placed his fingers tightly around his cock and began to stroke, turning his attention to the TV, watching himself with Gale on the screen. He closed his eyes and tried to remember exactly how it felt filming that particular scene. Ice cream dribbling down Gale’s body… his nipples reacting to the coldness along with Randy’s touch. He pictured the laughing and teasing between takes, both of them fully aware of how much they were being affected by the closeness. Finally, he heard the sound of Gale’s release, his name called over the phone line.

He waited until he was sure Gale could respond and then asked, “Will you…” his breath hitched as he began to pump just a little quicker, “meet me somewhere?” He positioned the phone so he could hold it in place with his shoulder and slid his finger under his shirt, rubbing slowly over his own nipple.

“When?” came the low, husky reply.

“Mmm…God… next weekend.”

There was a short silence, only the sound of Gale’s controlled breathing, and then finally, “Fuck… I’m… yeah,” he answered softly, “Just tell me where.”

“I’ll…ahh” A deep breath, “I’ll let you know.”

“Randy?”

“Talk to me? tell me something,” he begged, his words followed by a moan. “I just need to hear your voice.” His hand sped up, his body on the edge of his orgasm. “I’m so close.”

“Okay… You know what I’ve been thinking about when I think about us?”

Randy didn’t answer, so Gale continued. “I’ve been thinking about how bad I wanna taste you… taste your lips…”

“Mmm…”

“Your skin…”

“Uh huh…”

“Your cock…”

“Ooh,” Randy groaned, “Fuck… I wish you were here…”

“I can be… Next weekend…”

Almost there, he felt his body as it began to spasm, “Oh God, Gale.” His head pushed back against the arm of the couch as his back arched, his hand slowly pumping, letting his orgasm take him.

Gale waited, not saying anything for a few minutes. It was silent, but comfortable, both enjoying the connection, even if they were miles apart. Finally, Randy collected himself enough to speak. “Gale?”

“Hmm?”

“Thank you.”

“What the fuck for?”

“For making that… that could have been embarrassing.”

There was a soft chuckle before he answered, “It was hot.”

Randy smiled. “We shouldn’t be doing this.”

“But we are.”

“Yeah.”

“So… were you serious? Or was it just…”

“Yes,” Randy answered quickly. “I wanna see you.”

“Are you sure? You realize what this might start, right?”

Randy sighed, “It’s already started, Gale. It started a long time ago.”

Silence. “Where and when?”

“I’ll have to figure that out. Simon’s gone for the weekend again and I have to stay for an audition here in the city.” He couldn’t help feeling a little nervous about what they were doing.

“Call me tomorrow, okay? I want you to ask me again when your judgment’s not quite so… clouded.”

Randy smiled and took a deep breath. “I’ll call you in the morning.”

“I’m glad you called.” There was a soft, sleepy tone to Gale’s voice, which made Randy smile a little more.

“Me too.”

“Get some sleep.”

“Goodnight, Gale.”

He listened, waiting, and then heard the dial tone. Putting the phone down, he glanced at the TV screen again before closing his eyes. He was pretty sure he wasn’t going to get much, if any sleep at all.

Missed Opportunities – 4 months later

Randy waited nervously as Flight 1302 arriving from Canada was announced over the airport’s loud speakers. He wasn’t nervous about seeing Gale. Hell, it’d been three weeks since they’d been together and to say he was anxious was an understatement. What he was nervous about was the conversation he knew they would have to have.

He sat back, knowing it would still be a while before the passengers would be allowed to exit the plane. Trying to ease the giddiness in his stomach, he flipped open the book he’d been reading just as his cell phone rang. Checking the number, he reluctantly pushed the button and said, “Hello.”

“Hey sexy. Guess what I’m doing?”

Just the sound of Simon’s voice when he knew he was about to see Gale made him extremely uneasy. It was almost as if he was afraid the tone of his words would give away exactly what he was doing. It was silly, he knew… but then again, the fact that he and Gale were having a full-fledged affair behind Simon’s back was nothing to laugh about.

He tried to be nonchalant when he answered, “I don’t know. What?”

“I’m sitting in our apartment with a glass of wine, contemplating taking a nice, hot bath. The problem is… you’re not here to join me.”

Randy’s brow rose when he replied, “Our apartment? What are you doing home?”

“Well it seems my schedule for this weekend was postponed. Everything was pushed back a week which means I’m all yours until Monday.”

“Wow! That’s… great.”

“When are you coming home? I thought it would be the perfect evening to spend some time together.” There was a pause and then Simon added, “Besides, there’s still a lot to talk about. Have you thought any more about it? I don’t want to pressure you, but…”

“Of course,” Randy interrupted. “It’s all I’ve been thinking about.”

“I’m glad. So when should I expect you? I’ll order something in for us.”

Randy sighed, hoping Simon couldn’t hear it. “I’m waiting for Tina now. We have a lot of lines to run so it’ll probably be later this evening.”

“Can’t you get together another time?”

He had to think fast, and answered, “No. Not really. Rehearsal starts Tuesday. I’d really like to be prepared before I get there.” It was amazing how good he’d become at covering his ass. He was almost ashamed at how easy he could let the lies slip out.

Simon chuckled. “That’s my perfectionist.”

“I just want to be good at what I do.”

“I know. And you are.” He was quiet for a moment and then said, “Okay. Go do what you have to and I’ll be here when you get home.”

Randy looked up, just in time to see Gale heading through the gate, carrying a small bag over his shoulder. He smiled and stood up so that Gale would notice him.

“Hey, Tina’s here. I’d better go.”

“Alright, I’ll see you later. Love you.”

“You too.” Randy closed the phone and shoved it inside his pocket, watching as Gale came closer with a surprised smile.

“Hey.”

“Hey,” Randy answered back, casually hugging Gale before stepping away. It was bad enough in private, but Randy knew he was taking a chance meeting in public. Displays of affection were off limits when they never knew who would be around or who might happen to have a camera. For the most part, they’d been careful and had gone unnoticed, but every once in a while, they’d get that telltale sign that someone recognized them. All it would take would be that one wrong person at the wrong time...

They began walking, making their way out of the airport when Gale said, “I thought you were meeting me at the apartment.”

Randy shrugged. “Sorry, I couldn’t wait. Besides, it’s your place. I don’t feel right just letting myself in.”

Gale stopped walking and shook his head. “That’s why you have a key.”

“I know. But still…”

“Randy. You know the only reason I leased it was to be able to spend time with you. I consider it as much yours as it is mine.”

“And you know how guilty that makes me feel. All that money every month just to…”

Gale smiled reassuringly as he interrupted. “Just to see you? Worth every penny.” He pulled his lip between his teeth and smiled again. “And I hated having to go to hotel rooms.”

Randy smiled. “Yeah. I guess it did seem kind of… seedy.”

Gale laughed and began walking again. “So if this works out better for both of us, then it’s worth it. Now come on, I need to get you somewhere where I can kiss you. It’s been too fucking long.”

Randy laughed and tugged on Gale’s arm. “I can’t stay.”

Gale stopped again, a small frown replacing his smile.

“Last minute,” Randy explained. “I only have a few hours.”

He waited, watching Gale’s reaction until finally he saw his expression soften.

“Alright then, let’s make the most of the time we do have.”

~*~

With both men on their knees, Gale moved behind Randy and gripped his hips tightly, pulling the cheeks of his ass apart with his thumbs. He teased the area, pushing the tip of his cock against the tight opening, warranting a moan from in front of him. He leaned forward, his lips inches from Randy’s ear. “Do you know how much time I spend thinking about you? It’s getting harder not being able to talk to you…or see you all the time.”

Randy nodded and arched his back, feeling Gale pushing at his entrance. He closed his eyes as Gale kissed his neck tenderly and then began to suck harder, pulling the blood to the surface to leave a mark. Randy told himself to pull away, knowing he’d never be able to hide it, but found it too hard to resist. Instead, he leaned further back against Gale’s body. His eyes rolled back and his breath stopped when he was finally breeched, feeling the initial burn of being spread.

"Oh, yeah," he grunted, once Gale was buried inside of him.

"Fuck, Randy. I’ve missed this,” Gale whispered softly into his ear. “I’ve missed you."

Randy turned his head, catching Gale’s lips over his shoulder, latching on gently, and then urged a deeper, more heated kiss. Gale’s hips began to move, slowly sliding into him and then back out just as gentle. Randy pulled away to grip the top of the bed in front of him, arching his back for better leverage and began thrusting back each time Gale rocked forward.

“Oh, God. Stop… stop,” Gale begged, gripping Randy’s hips to keep him from moving. “Feels too good.”

Randy froze, his knuckles turning white from the grip he had on the headboard. He waited until Gale had himself under control and then leaned his head back against his shoulder. They remained that way for a few minutes, their bodies still joined together, until Gale’s hands moved to wrap around Randy’s body, pulling him tight against his firm chest as he caressed and massaged his stomach.

Gale’s lips were massaging his neck, his ear, his cheek… anything he could make contact with as he began pumping again. Each time Randy made a sound, be it a gasp or a moan, Gale would push in harder, pulling Randy’s hips toward him as he thrust forward. His momentum continued to increase until he had Randy desperately urging him, “Harder, Gale! Fuck me harder!"

Randy pulled away from the warm body behind him, putting his hands down on the bed. He slumped forward, burying his face into his pillow to push his ass into the air, allowing deeper penetration. He needed this. He needed to feel Gale deep inside him. To feel their bodies moving together because he was never sure how long it would be before the next time. He shifted, wriggling and thrusting as he felt Gale rubbing a different area each time he fucked into him. He froze, gasping for air when Gale’s cock hit that certain angle, sending waves of tingles throughout his body. He’d been with many different men, done many different things, but it all seemed like nothing compared to the way Gale’s body made him feel. He was teetering on the edge, trying to hold back his orgasm, not wanting the moment to be over. He knew it wouldn’t be long when Gale’s hand left his stomach and gripped his cock, stroking him firmly in his fist.

"Fuck, Gale!" Randy grunted. With Gale barely touching his cock, he gave in and exploded, spilling onto the mattress under him.

His body tensed, spasms running from his toes to his cock, and he felt Gale push deep inside him a final time before crying out his own release. They’d been together several times in the course of the last few months, but Randy was sure there was nothing that could ever compare to the sound of Gale in the throes of orgasm.

Gale collapsed on top of his sweat-slicked body, pushing them both down against the mattress. As they calmed down, Randy took a moment to savor the feeling, closing his eyes as Gale’s lips gently kissed along his neck and shoulders. He wasn’t used to the tenderness and closeness after sex. He’d lived with a man for years now that was never one for cuddling. Simon was usually out of bed and in the shower within seconds, always leaving Randy wanting something… more. Gale, on the other hand, enjoyed lying side by side, basking in the feeling of being together. It was just one more thing on a long list Randy had compiled in his head to love Gale for.

Reluctantly, Gale finally rolled over and discarded the condom into a trashcan beside the bed. He returned, urging Randy onto his back and wrapped his arm around him, breathing slow and steadily into his ear, running his finger softly along his arm.

Randy smiled and turned his head toward him. “Tell me again why we didn’t do this a long time ago?”

Gale smiled back and answered, “Because we were delusional and thought we were doing the right thing.”

Randy chuckled. “It was inevitable. We should have just given in.”

Gale’s smile faded into something more serious and he tightened his grip around Randy’s waist.

Confused, Randy said, “What?”

“Nothing. Just the ‘what ifs’ again.”

Randy sighed and shifted a bit, trailing his fingers through Gale’s hair, enjoying the feel of Gale’s body lying next to him. “I know it’s hard… for both of us, and I know it’s not what you want…”

“You’re giving me what you can.” He softly slid his foot over, rubbing it along Randy’s shin. He couldn’t touch him enough, making sure every part of their bodies was making contact in one-way or another.

“You deserve more. Someone who can be with you all the time. This play is running for eight weeks so that means it’ll be harder for me to get away.”

Gale leaned in and placed his lips over Randy’s, silencing him with a kiss. It was slow and gentle and had the desired effect. Randy closed his eyes and settled back down against him again.

“We’ll deal with it. We have so far, right?”

Their eyes met and Randy nodded slightly. “Gale, I wasn’t sure how to bring it up, but there’s something we need to talk about.”

“And I gather from the sound of it, I probably won’t like it.”

Randy pulled out of Gale’s arms so he could sit up and took a long, deep breath before asking, “What exactly are we doing?”

“Well,” Gale said and then paused, clearly thinking before he spoke. “I’d say that’s something you need to ask yourself. I think you know where I stand.”

“I know you say you love me, and I know you put up with a lot of shit to be with me.”

“Yeah… but?”

Randy turned away, swinging his legs over the side of the bed. Softly, he said, “Simon wants to get married. Well… he wants a commitment ceremony.”

Gale didn’t say anything and Randy could feel the sudden tension in the room. This was what he’d been afraid of. He wasn’t sure how Gale was going to react, and it seemed as if his worst fear, the fear that Gale would be completely pissed, was the way things were heading. He felt the bed move as Gale stood up, followed by the flick of his lighter. Neither of them spoke for a few minutes and Randy turned to watch Gale grip his cigarette between his lips as he slid into his jeans.

“Aren’t you going to say anything?”

Gale let out a stream of smoke and sat down in a chair at the end of the bed, leaning his elbows down on his knees.

“What did you expect me to say?”

“I don’t know.” He looked down, away from Gale’s eyes.

Gale stubbed the finished butt out into the ashtray beside him and casually ran his hands through his hair. He sighed deeply and then moved back to the bed, climbing up beside Randy. He reached up, twirling a blond strand of hair between his fingers.

“Look, I won’t be a dick about it, okay? But I don’t know where this leaves us. What you want from me.”

Randy reached for Gale’s hand, holding it in his own. “I want you to tell me not to do it.” Their eyes met and he continued. “I want you to tell me I’d be making the biggest fucking mistake of my life. You’re supposed to tell me you want me.”

Gale closed his eyes briefly and shook his head before glancing back at Randy. “This isn’t a fucking television show.”

Randy sighed. “I’m so used to what Simon and I have. There’s comfort and security in being with someone for so many years. It’s familiar.”

Gale pulled his hand away and stood up. “So what the fuck are you doing here with me?”

Randy’s eyes dropped again and he answered, “That’s what I’ve been trying to figure out.”

Before he could say anything else, Gale was moving across the room, grabbing his shirt as he went. “Go home to Simon.”

He disappeared; left the room without another glance and Randy heard the front door of the apartment slam shut before he finished dressing.

Missed Opportunities - Sequel - After Gale left

By the time Gale knocked back his third beer, he was feeling more than a little guilty for reacting the way he had. It was clear Randy was asking for his help and all he did was run out on him. After saying he wouldn’t be a dick about it, that’s exactly what he’d done. It was just the thought… Randy committed to Simon. To think there was even the remote possibility that Randy was considering the proposal… that he hadn’t immediately laughed it off and shoved the idea straight up Simon’s pompous ass was the part that made Gale’s stomach turn. That was the reason he hadn’t stayed. That… and the look on Randy’s face when Gale asked him why he was there with him. Randy’s answer, “That’s what I’ve been trying to figure out”… tore him in two.

“Talk me out of it,” Randy had said. Well fuck that. He shouldn’t have to talk Randy out of anything. If knowing that Gale loved him wasn’t enough, what else was there to say?

He pulled the last gulp from the bottle and glanced up at the clock on the wall. If he hurried, he could only hope Randy was being his usual stubborn self. It would be just like him to be there waiting at the apartment just to fight it out. If anything, Randy was not one for losing a pending argument. Gale telling him to leave might have been just enough of a challenge to make him stay.

He hailed the first cab he saw and anxiously tapped his fingers on the seat beside him, calling Randy’s cell. He had to get there in time. He had to fix this before it all fell apart. Whatever the hell it was they were doing.

~*~

Message one: Hey. If you’re still there, don’t go anywhere. I’m about ten minutes away. (Pause) I never should have left.

~*~

Message two: Fuck, Randy. I was really hoping you’d still be here. I just got back to the apartment and I really think we need to talk. (Pause) I’m sorry. I acted like an ass. Please call me when you get this.

~*~

Message three: I suppose you need time to cool off. I get that. Well… call me when you’re ready. I’m leaving in the morning but I can be back here next weekend. Whatever you… well, whatever. Call me.

~*~

Message four: It’s been three days. You can’t keep ignoring me. Look, I was a prick, okay? Call me back.

~*~

Message five: If you need me to tell you not to do it, I will. I don’t want you to commit to Simon. There’s a lot we need to talk about. Please talk to me.

~*~

Message six: What the fuck? It’s been a week! How long are you going to stay pissed at me? I know I was wrong. It’s just… I wasn’t expecting something like that. If you want me to stop leaving messages, let me know. Call me back and tell me to fuck off. Please, Randy… call me.

~*~

10:29 Sunday night – 12 days later

Message one: Hey Gale. Fuck. I didn’t want to leave a message. I guess if I… I’m sorry. About the past couple of weeks, I mean. I listened to your messages and picked up the phone to call you back a hundred times. I just needed some time to… to figure things out. But I think I… I think I have. I talked to Simon last night… finally. I just had to be sure before I gave him an answer and it needed to be for my own reasons. I couldn't let this be about my feelings for you. I had to think about what's right for me. There are a lot of things wrong with my relationship with him, but there’s a lot of good in it, too. What we’ve been… what I’ve been doing with you doesn’t help the situation any. It just confuses things. I really didn’t want to talk to your voicemail about all of this.

Simon will be away this weekend so I’m going to go to the apartment. I’d like to see you if you can get away for a couple of days. My phone will probably be off so just leave a message and let me know. I guess... I guess I’m gonna go now. I’m sorry and I just want (beep)…

~*~

Randy put the phone down and exhaled a deep breath. Fuck.