Title: Sex
Author: ficklemuse
Fandom: Lost
Characters: Sawyer/Boone
Prompt: 071: Sex
Summary: Let's talk about sex.
Word Count: 863
Rating: R (For Sawyer's potty mouth)
Author's Notes: For slash_100
 

Sawyer and Boone held out two weeks longer than Jack expected them to.

Of course he could have offered the information at any time, but then it would have deprived him of the look on Sawyer and Boone's faces when they finally cornered Jack in the caves.

"Hey Sawyer."

"Doc. Got a question for you."

"How are you feeling Boone?" Jack noticed how Boone was standing easier on his crutches and didn't have a waxy tinge to his complexion anymore. With each day that passed Boone was looking more and more like himself.

"Good. My leg still hurts if I overdo it." Boone hurried to add. "Which I don't so it feels fine."

"Good. Good. Don't want you to be overdoing it." Jack nodded. "Did you guys want something in particular....?" Jack drawled out. No way was he going to make this any easier. It was fun watching Sawyer shift impatiently from one foot to the other like a kid called to the principal's office.

"Yeah, actually Jack. I was wondering when I could get back to normal. You know, doing things I did before the accident." Boone's blue eyes were wide and guileless.

"Well, you're still healing. So I guess that depends on what you want to do." Jack rubbed his chin. "Swimming, which Sun tells me you've been doing, swimming's a really good idea. Hunting? Probably not a good idea. Nothing that puts too much pressure on your leg. What did you have in mind?" Jack must have sucked at keeping a straight face because Sawyer suddenly exploded.

"God damn it!"

"Sawyer..." Boone shook his head. "Jack's just trying to help."

"Jack's just bein' an asshole. He knows perfectly well you and I ain't talkin' about boar hunting!"

"I don't see what you're so angry about Sawyer. I'm just trying to help." Jack replied. "I can't answer any questions if you don't ask them." Jack turned his focus to Boone. "What is it you want to do? Tell me and I'll tell you if it's okay or not."

"Well..."

"Oh for Christ's sake! FUCKING! We wanna know if it's okay if he and I fuck. Is that okay or not Doc?" Sawyer blurted out.

"Dude! Please say it's okay! Sawyer's turning into an even bigger prick now that he's not getting any." Hurley commented on his way to the water supply.

Jack bit the inside of his cheek so hard he could taste blood. But the small injury was worth it for every second of Sawyer's expression.

"You're gettin' a real kick outta this ain't ya Doc?"

Jack snorted. "Yeah. I kinda am."

"Asshole." Sawyer made to storm off.

"Wait. You wanted to know if it was safe or not. Right? Well the answer's yes."

Boone let out a delighted whoop and crooked his finger in Sawyer's direction. "Come here."

"Hold up sailor!" Jack let himself laugh this time. "The answer is 'yes' but it's conditional. You have to be careful not to jar that leg too much. So no acrobatic tricks."

"Damn there goes my plan to fuck on a trapeze." Sawyer sniped.

"Not without a safety net." Jack quipped. "And what are you using for protection? Even your infamous stash has to be depleted by now Sawyer."

"Doc, you don't know anything about the size or condition of my 'stash'."

"You've had an STD before."

"I had the fucking clap five years ago. I don't have AIDS or HIV. But you're really starting to give me a bad case of PIMA. Pain. In. My. Ass."

"Then my professional advice is to not let Boone top."

"Fuck you. Fuck your professional advice. And fuck the plane you rode in on."

Boone chuckled. "I was tested right before I left for Sydney. I'm clean. We've got a lot of condoms left, but we're starting to run out of lube." Boone ignored Sawyer's glare. "Any suggestions?"

"As a matter of fact, yeah." Jack walked over to the medical cart and picked up a handful of spiky leaves.

"What the fuck are we supposed to do with that?" Sawyer demanded.

"Well you put the whole plant up your..." Jack broke off into laughter at the look on Sawyer's face. This was so much more fun than he'd even imagined. "Look moron." He squeezed the Aloe Vera leaves releasing a cool gel. "It grows all over the island." He raised his eyebrows at Sawyer. "I doubt even *you* can go through the entire supply."

"Maybe not. But it'll sure be fun tryin' won't it now Sweetness?"

Jack watched the two of them leave the caves in a conspicuous hurry and turned back to inventory the rest of the medical supplies. As soon as they were gone Sayid emerged from one of the side caves, a smile playing over his lips.

"You enjoyed that far more than was necessary."

"I did." Jack admitted.

"You are a very wicked man Jack Shepard. I would not like to be on your bad side."

"Yes, yes I am."