Title:  “The Song Remains the Same”
Author:  uberaeryn
Fandom:  Lost
Pairing:  Jack/Sawyer
Genre:  Smut/Humor
Rating:  Adults Only/Language, Sexual Situations.
Summary: You’re stranded on a deserted island, what in the hell else are you gonna talk about?

“FOR GOD’S SAKE, SAWYER, I AM NOT DISCUSSING THIS WITH YOU ANY MORE! WE’VE BEEN ARGUING ABOUT THIS FOR HOURS!” Jack bellowed, face flushed and eyes wide, near the breaking point, or, more to the truth, well past it. “I’M RIGHT, YOU’RE WRONG, END OF FUCKING STORY! I’VE GOT WORK TO DO!”

“Watch it, Doc, you’re gonna have a stroke or somethin’,” Sawyer said, grinning.

Jack spluttered and then turned and started stalking off.

“We’re not done with this, Doc!” Sawyer yelled after him.

“We’re done! It’s done! I’m right, you’re wrong, DONE DONE DONE!” Jack shouted over his shoulder.

“Like hell we’re done,” Sawyer muttered, glaring at Jack’s back as he walked away.

***

“Hey, Doc.”

Jack groaned. “Oh, for fuck’s sake,” he muttered, head drooping.

“Came to resolve our little discussion,” Sawyer said, grinning.

Jack gritted his teeth. “It’s resolved, you dumbass!” he shouted, then turned and strode off down the beach.

Sawyer caught up to him with long, quick strides. “It ain’t resolved, in any way, shape or form!”

“I’m not changing my mind about this, Sawyer!”

“Hell, yeah, you are.”

“I am not!”

“You are! I’ll force you if I have to!”

“Force me how? What are you gonna do, follow me around to death?”

“Whatever’s necessary to make you see the error of your ways,” Sawyer said, grinning.

Jack shook his head in frustration. “You’re just doing this to drive me nuts. I’m not talking about it anymore.”

“Then I guess I’ll just have to follow you around to death,” Sawyer said, smirking. “I don’t have any work to do.” Stubborness personified.

“No shit!” Jack said, turning on him. “What’s it going to take to get you off my back, you asshole?”

“You admittin’ you’re wrong.”

“I am not wrong!”

Sawyer grinned. “Tell you what. Let’s take a poll, whoever gets the most votes wins.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Jack yelled, sorely tempted to bash his own brains or, preferably, Sawyer’s brains out on the nearest rock.

“Nope.”

Jack sighed wearily in defeat. “We do that, will you leave me the fuck alone?”

“Swear,” Sawyer said, holding up both hands.

“Oh, for Christ’s sake, I cannot believe I’m doing this,” Jack muttered and headed off toward camp, Sawyer hot on his heels.

***

“Michael.”

Michael looked up at them and frowned, obviously confused at the seeing the two of them together.

“Yeah?” he said, looking at Jack quizzically.

Jack sighed and rubbed a hand over his face in embarrassment. “Which was better, the original Star Wars or The Lord of the Rings?”

“What?”

“We . . . just wondered,” Jack said, looking at Sawyer and trying to kill him with his eyeballs. Sawyer just smirked.

Michael frowned again, staring at them both, and then warmed quickly to the topic. “Oh, I’m old school. Star Wars, definitely.”

“No way, Dad, Lord of the Rings,” Walt said, scoffing.

Jack and Sawyer glared at each other and stomped off.

***

“Boone. Original Star Wars or Lord of the Rings?”

“Lord of the Rings,” Boone said without looking up.

***

“Oh, dudes, that’s a tough one, ‘cause you know, Lucas, he pulled lots of elements from the “Lord of the Rings” novels for Star Wars, and Lord of the Rings definitely had the better CGI, but for sentimental value I gotta go Star Wars,” Hurley said.

***

“Neither,” Locke said. “The Matrix.”

“Oh, yeah, I forgot about The Matrix, I loved The Matrix,” Jack said, turning to Sawyer.

“Oh, yeah, me, too,” Sawyer said amiably, shoving his hair out of his eyes.

“But that’s not the point!” Jack bellowed, suddenly remembering how angry he was, stomping off. Sawyer grinned and followed him.

***

“Kate, the original Star Wars or Lord of the Rings?”

“Uh, well, to tell the truth I haven’t seen either one,” she said, looking back and forth between them in confusion.

Jack and Sawyer stared at her in complete and utter shock.

***

“Lord of the Rings,” Claire said, wincing a bit as she lay back. “No question.”

***

“Sayid . . .”

“Ah, I’ve heard this was going around, and I’ve thought about it long and hard. Star Wars, absolutely. George Lucas is a genius.”

***

“Shannon . . .”

“Don’t know, don’t care.”

***

“Jin. Star Wars? Lord of the Rings?”

“Ah. Star Wars, yes?”

“That one don’t count,” Sawyer muttered as they walked away.

“It counts!” Jack yelled.

***

“Charlie. Which was better, the original Star Wars or Lord of the Rings?”

“Uh, well. Hmm. Which Lord of the Rings?”

“The new one.”

“Then, yes, Lord of the Rings, absolutely,” Charlie said, staring at the ground and fidgeting.

***

“It’s a tie, four to four, now will you leave me the hell alone?” Jack demanded once they got back to the beach.

“It is not a tie, Jin’s vote don’t count, he didn’t know what in the hell you were talkin’ about! I win! I’m right, you’re wrong, LORD OF THE GODDAMNED RINGS!” Sawyer yelled, poking Jack hard on the chest with each word.

“STAR WARS!” Jack shouted, poking back, and then he sighed heavily and started backing away. “I’m done. Not doing this. You’re wrong, wrong, wrong, IN EVERY POSSIBLE WAY FOR A PERSON TO BE WRONG, SAWYER, YOU ARE WRONG, ABOUT EVERY FUCKING THING UNDER THE FUCKING FACE OF THE FUCKING SUN!”

“How ‘bout this, Doc?” Sawyer said, scowling and advancing on him. “I’ll wrestle you for it.”

“What? Are you insane?”

“Yeah, but that’s not the point,” Sawyer said, grinning suddenly. “I win, I’m right – you win, you’re right.”

Jack glared. “You’re actually going to make me do this, aren’t you? Just to get you to shut up.”

“To get you to admit that you’re wrong - OOF! No fair!” Sawyer shouted, flat on his back on the sand, Jack on top of him.

“You didn’t say anything about fair, you said to wrestle. So wrestle, you bastard!” Jack yelled in his face and the battle was on, Sawyer cursing and squirming like a snake and Jack trying to pin him with his weight and the war seemed to wage for hours until Sawyer had Jack on all fours in a headlock, his crotch crushed up against Jack’s ass.

“Say uncle!” Sawyer yelled. “Better still, say Lord of the Fuckin’ Rings!”

“No way, asshole,” Jack panted, still struggling. “This isn’t over.”

“Looks plenty over to me,” Sawyer said, breathless, and Jack could hear the smirk in his voice and he growled, then stilled suddenly.

“Sawyer,” he said calmly. “Are you humping me?”

“Maybe,” Sawyer whispered and Jack could hear the grin in his voice and he grinned himself.

“Well, if that’s all you wanted, you could’ve just said so, instead of driving me absolutely insane all day,” Jack said, and waited, a predatory gleam in his eye.

“That so, Doc?” Sawyer murmured, his hold loosening.

“Yes,” Jack whispered, thrusting back slightly, a feral grin crossing his face when Sawyer groaned and buried his face in Jack’s neck. Jack thrust back again harder and Sawyer dropped his arms completely, which proved to be his undoing when Jack whipped around and pinned him to the sand for the full count.

“I win! I win win win, Sawyer, I’m right, you’re wrong, and I am happy to tell you to go straight to hell. STAR WARS!” Jack yelled in his face, then leapt to his feet, grinning, and ran off into the night.

“Son of a fuckin’ bitch,” Sawyer muttered, scowling.

***

Jack sat under the waterfall for a long time, rinsing off sweat and sand and exhaustion and more uncomfortable thoughts about Sawyer than he’d ever admit to before finally swimming across the freshwater pool and clambering on to the bank and falling on to his back wearily, one forearm across his eyes.

“Lord of the Rings, you asshole,” came the whisper close to his ear and Jack jumped but he was too late, Sawyer had him pinned.

Jack groaned. “No! I won, over, done!”

Sawyer grinned. “Not done by a long shot, Doc,” he said, stretching Jack’s arms over his head and tilting his pelvis so they were crotch to crotch. And then he moved, just slightly.

“Stop it,” Jack snarled.

“Stop what, Doc, this?” Sawyer asked innocently, thrusting harder.

“Yes, that, you asshole. Stop it!” Jack muttered.

“Why, Doc, it’s doesn’t feel like you want me to stop, you’re hard as a fuckin’ rock,” Sawyer whispered and Jack flushed.

“Sawyer, I will kill you in your sleep, I swear to God,” Jack hissed, glaring up at him, and Sawyer started a teasingly hard rhythm and leaned down to nip at Jack’s jaw.

“Fuck!” Jack groaned, trying to turn his head away, but Sawyer took advantage of that to lick and suck at his neck and suddenly Jack’s head was swimming, his body on fire.

“Get off,” Jack bit out through clenched teeth, trying one last time to rescue his dignity and his masculinity, squirming and struggling, which just seemed to make things worse, so he stopped, with a great deal of difficulty.

“Oh, I’ll get off, all right, Doc,” Sawyer snorted, his breath hot against Jack’s neck. “And so will you, I believe.” His tongue slid up to Jack’s ear and suddenly Jack was seeing red, bucking up hard against Sawyer in counterpoint to Sawyer’s movements, and then Sawyer had released his arms and he had them wrapped around Sawyer’s neck, kissing him in a blind fury of need, and Sawyer groaned, pleased, tongue tangling hotly with Jack’s, and he reached down between them, lifting up his hips slightly to free both their cocks.

And then again Sawyer was on his back. “Dammit, Doc, don’t you fuckin’ leave me like that again,” he hissed, wrapping his legs tightly around Jack’s waist.

“Hadn’t planned on it, you bastard,” Jack muttered, planting a hand on either side of Sawyer’s head and kissing him again, deeply, and Sawyer moaned gruffly against Jack’s mouth and wrapped both hands around their hard cocks, and Jack gasped and began thrusting furiously.

“Jesus Christ, Sawyer,” he whispered, eyes closing, everything red and hot and he groaned as Sawyer stroked them both.

“Fuck, Doc, God, that’s good . . .” Sawyer whispered.

“More. Harder. Now!” Jack groaned and Sawyer’s grip tightened and they writhed against one another, cursing and biting, air raw with need and then suddenly Jack slammed against Sawyer hard, coming hot all over Sawyer’s hands and he cried out and was dimly aware through a fierce red wave of pleasure that Sawyer came not long after.

***

“Asshole.”

“Bastard.”

“Son of a bitch.”

“Dickhead.”

“STAR WARS!”

“LORD OF THE GODDAMNED RINGS!”

“Oh, for God’s sake.”

***

End

Note: ‘Follow me around to death’ line lifted directly from BtVS episode ‘Smashed.’ I know, should’ve come up with my own, but it sounded like such a Sawyer thing to do, to follow Jack around to death. :P