Title:  “Yohimbe”
Author:  uberaeryn
Fandom:  Lost
Pairing:  Michael Friendship, Jack/Sawyer
Genre:  Humor/Smut
No Spoilers
Rating:  Adults Only: Language, drug use, very graphic sexual situations.
Authors Notes:  For foxxcub and halfdutch. You guys rawk. ;P

“Hey, Doc,” Sawyer said cheerfully, tripping Jack as he walked past and then grabbing him by the shirt collar and hauling Jack on top of him. “You look very, very pretty tonight.”

Jack stared, stunned.

“Ignore him, Jack, he’s done that to at least five people tonight,” Michael said distractedly, his attention focused on a rock he’d picked out of the sand earlier.

Jack looked down at Sawyer in shock, who smiled back up at him with heavy-lidded eyes before wrapping his legs around Jack’s waist. Jack cursed and started struggling.

“What?” Jack said to Michael as he tried to wriggle free of Sawyer’s grip.

“What what?” Michael said after a long while.

“What did you say? Earlier?” Jack asked, breathless and trying to peel Sawyer off of him, Sawyer clinging to him for dear life, legs around Jack’s waist and his arms around Jack’s neck.

“What did I say about what?” Michael asked blankly.

Jack rolled his eyes and tried to reach back and unlock Sawyer’s arms from around his neck. He managed to pry loose one arm which Sawyer immediately thrust between them, hand wandering, and Jack jumped and shuddered and swore. “Jesus, are you guys fucked up?”

“Oh. Yeah. We are, kinda. Ignore him Jack, he’s done that to at least five people tonight. You’re the first one he’s actually tried to feel up, though.”

“Fuck,” Jack muttered, rolling on to his back and trying to slide his hands between himself and Sawyer to get enough leverage for a good shove.

“Doc, you look very, very pretty tonight,” Sawyer said again, smiling, and Jack sighed and cursed and squirmed. “Feel even better,” Sawyer whispered, and Jack flushed and his struggles increased when he felt Sawyer’s very pronounced hard-on nudging against his crotch.

“Ignore him, Jack, he’s done that to at least five people tonight,” Michael said again and Jack grunted in exasperation, still fighting and blushing and trying to ignore the way Sawyer smelled and the way his hair brushed against Jack’s skin and the fact that Sawyer had apparently turned into a vampire and was sucking and biting hard at Jack’s neck.

“Except me, though,” Michael said, suddenly indignant and glaring at Sawyer. “What’s up with that, Sawyer? Why ain’t I very, very pretty tonight?”

Sawyer’s head whipped around to look at Michael and Jack suddenly found himself freed from wandering Sawyer hands and lips and he started to make a crawl for it, panting in exertion from the fiercest and weirdest come-on he’d ever had in his life.

“Why, you are, sweet thing,” Sawyer said, leering and crawling toward Michael, who grinned briefly and then leapt to his feet and ran to join Jack on the other side of the fire. Sawyer fell on to his back and groaned.

“What in the hell are you guys on?” Jack asked, still breathless and wiping away sweat.

Michael shrugged. “Something Sun gave us, Yo . . . Yo . . . Yo-something. To relax, she said. Good stuff but it’s turned Sawyer into some kind of manwhore.”

Jack snorted. “Manwhore?”

“HERE!” Sawyer said, raising his hand as if it were roll call and then rolling around in the sand.

Jack grinned in spite of himself and turned to Michael. “And why hasn’t it turned you into a manwhore?”

“HERE!” Sawyer yelled again and Jack snorted.

“Don’t know,” Michael said. “I just feel good. Really good. But I don’t feel that good,” he said, nodding at Sawyer who had risen to his knees and was grinning at them like a madman.

Jack sighed and leaned back against the log and held out his hands. “Hand it over,” he said.

Michael glared suspiciously. “Why? You gonna trash it? ‘Cause I’m really starting to like it.”

“Yohimbe!” Sawyer yelled. “And no trashin’, I’ll fuckin’ kill you!”

Jack rolled his eyes.

“Yohimbe, yeah, that’s what it’s called,” Michael said. “No trashing.” He held the bowl away from Jack and glared.

“No, Michael, no trashing,” Jack said wearily. “I want to try it.”

“Yohimbe,” Sawyer said. “Be a good name for a dog, you know, for when it wanders off and you need to call its mangy ass back to the house. YO! HIMBY!” This was, apparently, the funniest thing Sawyer had ever heard and Jack and Michael watched him, perplexed, as he howled in laughter.

***

Jack made a noise of disgust as he took his fifth drink.

“Tastes like shit, don’t it?” Sawyer said, flat on his back and pointing one finger at the sky, counting the stars.

“If anyone would know what shit tastes like I figure it’d be you, Sawyer,” Michael said amiably.

“Fuck off. Eleventythreethousandonehundredandtwentytrillion,” Sawyer pronounced with a great deal of seriousness and Michael and Jack fell all over each other, giggling.

“Fuck off,” Sawyer said again, and started counting once more.

“You feeling like a manwhore?” Michael asked Jack, grinning.

“HERE!”

“No,” Jack said, grinning himself. “But you’re right, it does feel good, even if it tastes like shit.”

“Yep,” Michael said. “All warm and gooey, kinda.”

“Gooey,” Sawyer repeated. “Gooey gooey gooey . . .”

“Exactly,” Jack said, sighing and feeling as if he were melting into the sand.

“No hangover, either, Sun said. She’s given it to lots of people, except for her, she’s watchin’ Walt for me,” Michael said.

Jack frowned. “That’s probababably a very, very, very bad . . . something. Wrong? Right. Did I say that out loud? I meant to. Say it out loud, I mean, that’s pro . . . bra . . . blyaverybadidea. Everybody being fucked up. Bad idea. Me especially. Bad.”

“Shut the fuck up, Doc, let us have our fun,” Sawyer said. He sat up suddenly, pointing at them both and glaring. “I’ll tell you one thing, though, if I start seein’ giant killer bunnies I’m gonna be seriously pissed, big ol’ bunnies with big giant teeth GRRR and somebody’s gonna have to pay, you don’t fuck with the goddamned bunnies!”

Jack stared at Sawyer for a long time and then started giggling helplessly and rolled over, face buried in the sand.

“You know,” Michael said, looking at Sawyer with a wicked gleam in his eye. “Considering some of the shit that we’ve seen, I’m not so sure even talkin’ about giant killer bunnies is a good idea.”

Sawyer’s eyes widened. “Jesus fuckin’ Christ. You’re right. I take it back.”

“Too late, man, the bunnies are comin’,” Michael said, sighing and shaking his head in regret. “You’ve called them forth with your amazing and astounding manwhore powers. You’re like Aquaman, only you’re AQUAMANWHORE!”

That set Jack off again, laughing so hard he was crying, and Sawyer scowled. “Asshole,” Sawyer muttered.

“Right, sorry, that wouldn’t be Aquamanwhore, that’d be BUNNYMANWHORE!” Michael said, grinning and striking a Superman pose.

“QUIT TALKIN’ ABOUT THE GODDAMNED BUNNIES!” Sawyer bellowed.

Michael laughed and held up his hands. “Sorry, dude. No more bunnies, I swear.”

“Damn right,” Sawyer said, and then fell over, pointing again at the sky. “You made me lose count. Where was I?”

“Fifteen,” Michael said, hiding a smile.

“Right. Fifteen, sixteen, seventeen . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . um, thirty, thirty-one . . .”

“Aquamanwhore,” Jack mumbled, giggling again, and then he suddenly became serious. “You know, I hated Aquaman, but he could really help us out, call up some whales or something, drag us back home,” Jack said quite earnestly.

Michael snorted. “Right, dude. Listen, guys, this has, and I’m kinda surprised to find myself saying this, actually been fun, but I am totally wiped.” He stumbled to his feet. “I’m gonna haul my ass off to bed before this wears off, get a decent night’s sleep for a change.” He started off down the path. “And I gotta be ready, those giant killer bunnies are on the way,” he called over his shoulder.

“ASSHOLE!” Sawyer yelled after him and Michael’s laughter echoed as he disappeared into the night.

Jack snorted and rolled over on to his back with a sigh, closing his eyes, the rush of whatever potion Sun had concocted warming him inside and out, his muscles relaxed for the first time in months, the physical sensation combining with a glorious mental lift, all worries, usually sharp-edged and ever present, fading, just a bit.

All in all, he thought, this was good shit, and he also thought the Aquaman idea had some merit, and then all that was lost when Jack had the breath knocked out of him by Sawyer falling heavily on top of him.

“Hey, Doc. You look very, very pretty tonight.”

“Thanks,” Jack said, snorting, eyes still closed as he half-heartedly try to shove Sawyer off of him. “So do you.”

“How do you know? Your eyes are closed, jackass,” Sawyer whispered, knocking Jack’s arms away easily and stretching himself out along the length of Jack’s body and then wrapping himself around Jack, resting his chin on Jack’s chest.

“I know what you look like, Sawyer,” Jack murmured, eyes still closed.

“Yeah? You think I’m pretty?” Sawyer asked, grinning.

“Tonight you are.”

“All the time,” Sawyer said, smirking, and then he wriggled against Jack’s crotch and Jack bit back a groan. “So you gonna fuck me or what?”

“Christ, Sawyer, you are a manwhore. No, I am not fucking you.”

“I’ll fuck you, then. C’mon, it’ll be fun.”

“No!”

“Blowjob?”

Jack groaned and shifted uncomfortably, brushing up against Sawyer’s crotch, which didn’t help matters any. “No blowjobs, you asshole.”

“Why the hell not? You just said I was pretty.”

Jack sighed. “I hate you.”

“Hate you, too. You’re a complete bastard. What’s that got to do with anything? Makes it better, even.”

Jack was running out of arguments, so he played his ace. “I’m not gay.”

Snort. “Me, neither. But we’re fucked up, and when you’re fucked up anything goes, I should know.”

Trumped. Jack sighed. “Sawyer?”

“What?”

“Shut up,” Jack whispered, and rolled, trapping Sawyer against the ground by hooking one leg over Sawyer’s thighs, and Jack propped himself up on one elbow and slid one hand into the hair on the back of Sawyer’s head and kissed him.

“Bout damn time,” Sawyer grumbled, sighing and wrapping his arms around Jack’s neck, tugging and pulling until Jack was covering him completely with his body, and Jack propped himself up on both hands and gave in thoroughly to the golden, soaring surge in his blood, kissing Sawyer hungrily, tongue thrusting deeply and then pulling back to lick and suck at Sawyer’s lips before plunging in again, at times tender and then fierce, Sawyer’s moans of satisfaction muffled by Jack’s mouth, and when Sawyer moved his hands to run them over Jack’s body Jack stopped him, pinning his hands to the ground and just kissed him, for a long time, never letting up on his hot, wet, slow assault on Sawyer’s mouth, and Sawyer groaned, kissing Jack back, moaning, writhing, arching up off the ground for more contact but Jack held himself up, his hips just out of reach of Sawyer’s thrusts, so hard not to give in and take Sawyer with everything he had but Jack held back, and still Jack kissed him, long and hard and thoroughly, and then he finally pulled back and stared down at Sawyer, who stared back with darkened eyes, both of them breathless.

“Jesus, Sawyer,” Jack said, blood pounding and body aching, looking at him in amazement. “That was . . .”

“Yohimbe,” Sawyer whispered with finality.

“Right,” Jack whispered, grinning and pushing Sawyer’s hair out of his eyes. “Yohimbe.”

“That’s all that was,” Sawyer grumbled. “Get off me, we’re out here in front of God and everybody.”

Jack stood. “Who cares? Yohimbe, remember?” He grinned and Sawyer scowled.

“Shut up,” Sawyer spat and pushed Jack in the cover of the jungle and then he kicked Jack’s legs out from under him so he sprawled on his back and then he leapt astride him, pinning Jack’s arms over his head. “Let’s do this.”

“Yeah,” Jack whispered. He bucked up slightly with his hips. “So fucking hard for you, Sawyer, feel that?” He thrust up harder and smiled lazily when Sawyer closed his eyes and inhaled sharply. “Want to taste you, get my hands all over you – must be that Yohimbe, makes me want to get down on my knees and suck you off, have you come in my mouth, fuck you so hard you can’t walk, want you so bad it fucking hurts, Sawyer . . .”

Sawyer shuddered and his head fell back. “Jesus fuckin’ Christ,” he whispered. “You tryin’ to kill me?”

“I’m trying to get you naked,” Jack said, grinning, and at that Sawyer pulled away abruptly and they were both struggling with their clothes, watching each other closely in the far away light of the fire and when the clothes were gone they attacked one another, hands and mouths everywhere, and then Jack shoved Sawyer against a tree, grabbing his face with both hands and kissing him again, brutally, the warmth in his veins now fire, raging, and Jack groaned loudly when Sawyer’s warm, rough hand grabbed his cock, stroking him hard.

“Jesus, Sawyer,” he bit out through clenched teeth. He buried his face in Sawyer’s shoulder, biting hard. “Fuck, don’t stop, please don’t stop, God,” he moaned against the sweaty skin of Sawyer’s shoulder. “So good, Jesus . . .”

Sawyer slid his hand around Jack’s neck and tugged until they were face to face. “Wanna see your face,” he whispered, running his thumb along Jack’s mouth as he stroked Jack faster. “Watch you when you come, when I make you come . . .”

“Fuck,” Jack whispered, bracing his hands on Sawyer’s shoulders, his eyes on Sawyer’s face, breathing heavily. “Yes,” he whispered, drawing Sawyer’s thumb into his mouth and sucking on it hard, watching as Sawyer’s eyes were drawn to his mouth and Sawyer watched in aroused fascination, eyes dark and mouth open slightly as Jack’s tongue whirled around Sawyer’s thumb, a promise.

“Come for me, Jack,” Sawyer whispered. “Come hard, all over me, for me, wanna taste it, taste you . . .” And then he pulled his hand away from Jack’s mouth and reached down to fondle Jack’s balls and Jack’s head fell back and he groaned.

“God, Sawyer,” he moaned, fingernails digging into Sawyer’s shoulders, and then it rammed through him, a white hot flash, and he came hard and hot all over Sawyer’s hand and belly, wave after wave shooting through him, and he fell against Sawyer, weak-kneed and breathless and sated. “Jesus, Sawyer,” he whispered, licking his way up Sawyer’s neck, tasting salt and kissing him again, and then he watched as Sawyer licked the come off his hand and Jack’s blood surged and his body raged again and he kissed Sawyer once more, hard, licked at his lips and pulled away.

They stared at one another moment and then Jack sank to his knees gratefully, nudging Sawyer’s feet out to a wider stance, grabbing Sawyer’s rigid cock with one hand and stroking, feeling a tremendous sense of satisfaction at Sawyer’s groan of pleasure, then he sucked one finger into his mouth, wetting it, then slid it into Sawyer, thrusting until the sounds Sawyer was making and the jerks of his hips told him he found the right spot, and then he took Sawyer’s cock into his mouth, sucking him off and finger fucking him at the same time.

“Goddammit, Jack!” Sawyer hissed, hands gripping Jack’s shoulders and hips thrusting as he fucked Jack’s mouth. “Jesus fuckin’ Christ, Doc, God you got some kind of mouth on you, fuck . . .”

Jack worked, tongue, lips and teeth, watching Sawyer’s face as he did so, refusing to pull away when Sawyer’s tugged at the back of his neck, instead sucking harder and massaging Sawyer’s prostate firmly until Sawyer moaned, grabbing the back of Jack’s head and thrusting frantically, and then he came with a loud curse, spilling into Jack’s mouth, and Jack swallowed and held him in his mouth until Sawyer pulled away, and then Sawyer collapsed to his knees, flinging his arms around Jack’s neck and kissing him again, and then they fell to the ground and the world faded away.

***

“We pass out?”

“I think so,” Jack grumbled sleepily, struggling into his clothes.

“Yohimbe,” Sawyer said, buttoning his jeans.

Jack rolled his eyes. “Must’ve been.”

“Doc,” Sawyer said, peering into the jungle. “I know this might sound weird, but could I stay up at the caves tonight? With you?”

Jack blinked in surprise. “Yeah, I guess. Why?” Then he smirked. “Giant killer bunnies?”

“Nope,” Sawyer said. “Yohimbe.”

Jack stared at him in disbelief.

“Yeah, and the bunny thing, too, maybe, shut up about it already!” Sawyer said, scowling, and then stomping off toward the caves.

Jack grinned and followed.

***

End


Notes: Yohimbe is actually native to West Africa, not the South Pacific, and is used like Ecstasy, makes you touchy-feely and easily sexually aroused, but it doesn’t have the goofy, marijuana-like effects I used here – I just liked the name Yohimbe. :P